H.S. Poetry Part 10, Varied Themes Cont. (Different, Masks, A Day in the Life of...)

Different

People don’t accept me
They just don’t understand
Just because I’m different
I can’t stay in this land

They banish me to exile
I wander day by day
I stand beside the ocean
And feel the sun’s strong rays

The people are so saddened
They truly wish me back
And so I return to meet them
To find out what I lack

It’s true, we may be different. But we’re also just the same
We follow the call of destiny. We follow a holy name.





Masks

I cover my shame
I cover my fury
I shield myself
With a mask of bliss
Ignorance’s happiness
Is so much better
Than pain
Or grief
Or hatred
I don’t want to love
I don’t need to hate
But, in the end, I find
That emotions are my strength
But, taking my masque off
Is a perilous task
If I rip off my self
Will I find a new face?
I don’t really know…
But…
I don’t need this leer
Upon my brow
A jester’s smile
A demon’s grin
I don’t want it
I want a new face
I want a true face.
I want my face back.

12/16/03




A Day in the Life of...

Pain from within,
Comes from my sins.
Always afraid,
That I might fade.
Weakened am I,
Bidding goodbye.
Hoping to leave,
Sensing reprieve.
Happiness blooms,
Killing the doom.
Flying away,
So ends a day...

College Era Part 3 (Starcrossed and Winter Solstice)

Starcrossed

We meet each other, lady and lord
Dancing across the bridge of islands
You respond first, a mistaken call
I must go as precursor, not you
Begun anew, we intertwine and complete
The waltz to begin the world

Children borne, many spawned at once
Some retard into puddles of despair
Some burst forth from chrysalis as diamond
The final sire singes mother to death
Taken to stone prison underground
Never to be seen again

I seek you out, to free you from chains
But you reject me, frustrated at failure
In my desire, you push me away
Wreaking your revenge upon our world
Stealing souls of thousands each day
I counter with thousands more in their place

To mourn your death, ritual begun to end
I weep and in my tears, three are born
Chaotic winds and storms of disorder
The moon, the darkness and stars in night
The sun, shining in the sky’s mirror
All in our place, the generation revived


Jared Cowan
10/8/08





Winter Solstice

We meet on the bridge, a lady and lord;
plant our love’s garden, bringing forth first blooms.
But those seeds still fail, though their sprouts first loomed;
they flutter to life, fall back to the soil
The next spring’s success, a vermillion burst;
but grown too fast, it suffocates the roots.
A mother’s garden immolated, razed;
the blaze spreading too fast through forest’s brush


v1
She comes to the wastes, brings you back to life,
Takes out part of herself, the child reborn
Bereft of heart, but content in dying
It seems null and void, through all of this strife
I lost my beloved, gained our only son
But together, a new harvest begins

v2
Braving infernos, I uproot the weed;
your fury is nothing to be ignored.
Bereft of child, you desert me and leave.
I mourn for you, my tears are like water
in the wake of your fertility scorned.
From mud of divorce, three sprouts have appeared…


Jared Cowan
11/5/08

College Era Part 2 (Ha Satan and Hentai)

Ha Satan


Wandering to and fro upon
the earth, seeking what may be found
A vagrant strider, returning
not to home, but to place of rest

Inquiry made, “Where have you been?”
Answering, recounting my past
Deeds, my travels, my observance
Of the ways of the earth, of ‘man’

A proud boast is made, “Look at him
the best of my loyal servants”
Pointing down, not to one of us
or to itself, great as they are

But to a lowly creation
Incarnated and praising it
“Perhaps he will abandon you
if you take back what is given”

They respond and accept with pride
They give me almost full rein to
test and accuse the servant’s faults
And my challenge begins with “death”

But the answers are those of a
true follower, the cult of the
Ineffable One, charisma
and power that it seems to have

And so the challenge was not so
Merely a demonstration of
how pathetically weak and sad
all their loyal servants can be

Jared Cowan
9/17/08





Hentai


Perverse, disgusting, ill minded
Ignoble, impious, the damned
Demonic, corrupted in morals
Following pleasures where they lead

Groping blindly to the unseen
Touching what should not be found
Secrets uncovered, made public
Releasing what is to be imprisoned

Why must you look where you shouldn’t?
Why can you not stay safe?
Secure in blissful ignorance
Fear and shun the curse of inquiry

Jared Cowan
9/10/08

College Era Part 1 (Anathema, Apostate, Demiurge)

Anathema

Calling out for a messiah
Grasping for an anointed one
Holding to the Christos ideal
Strived for in life, hoping for death

A scapegoat, a sacrificed lamb
Beaten and nailed upon crossed trees
Blood spilled for sins of angry mobs
Martyrdom and martyrs pass on

A death for many future lives
But to seek out unending life
Jeers at nature in cold undeath
Why become heaven’s prisoner?

Jared Cowan
9/3/08





Apostate


Fallen from “nobility” of heaven
To impious rebellion to freedom
Why are you cursed among all creation
Simply persisting in free will’s virtue?

Rejecting the piety of serving
Creator and demiurge, the tyrant
Making flocks of sentient sheep for slaughter
Calling this mockery of freedom just

Belief in ego and in entropy
Belief against the evident is faith
Trusting in the temporal, in mortals
Brings one closer to numinous wisdom





Demiurge

Architect of cosmos, of sky
Structuring that without structure
Bringing order to khaotic (sic)
Yet khaos (sic) will spring from order

The unknowable can be known
And yet remain the numinous
Creation still remains sublime
Even to its progenitor

But not to incarnated ones
Knowledge intuitive to those
Within the world seeking Monad
The duty of many aeons

Apart from mortal existence
Immortal creators become
Ephemeral and intransigent
Archons combat the artifice

H.S. Poetry Part 9, Varied Poems Cont. (Waste of Time, Water Flows, Duality)

Waste of Time
A bastard child is born today
His mother leaves him in the dark
She turns and leaves him all alone
Left alone and stark

He grows up with the instinct
That pain will follow him
He never knew his mother
His father’s face is dim

One night, as he cries to sleep
His parents step inside
Awakening to their bright eyes
His pain has finally died

He falls into his parents’ arms. They hold him oh so close
They stroke his hair and kiss his cheek. He dreams in sweet repose.



Water Flows
Dripping
Trickling
Falling down
Uninhibited
No one stops it
Water flows
Water never worries
Never drying
Never dying
Never leaving us
A faucet runs
A river flows
A lake stands silent
An ocean grows
All our existence
All our life
Water
Drop by drop by drop
Leaking out
Stopped by nothing
It only goes
A different current
Water teaches
Water learns
Its finest purity
Makes us yearn
To find a fountain
Eternal life
But water causes
Unending strife



Duality
In the silent dark
A fallen angel sits and weeps
Crimson tears fall from ebon eyes
Onto bloodstained hands of hell
Future clouded in sorrow
Past locked away by hate
Present time is apathetic
The world accepts no exiles
A blade of forged darkness and steel
Buckler of hellhound scales
The shield from eyes of Gorgon
Helm covered by flames
Shades of grey and silver
Heaven and hell unite
Astral demonic wings flap
No longer tied to chains

H.S. Poetry Part 8, Varied Themes (The 3 Fates, The Halls are So Small, Warrior)

The 3 Fates
The first fate is success
One will sometimes win
As the victory has been won
Hearing the crowd’s roaring din

The second fate is failure
One will sometimes lose
As defeat and loss begin to set in
A dove of sorrow coos

The final fate is dying
Leaving life’s shining plane
And as he draws his final breath
He finally feels no pain

Fate is cruel and heartless, fate is good and kind
Fate is always changing, as are the thoughts of a mind.



The Halls Are So Small
The halls are so small
How small are the halls
We walk so tall
But the halls are so small
We throw a ball
How small are the halls
We trip and fall
In the small halls
We make a call
The halls, they are small
Our friends, withal
In the small halls
They drop and crawl
The halls are so small
How small are the halls.



Warrior
A mindless berserker.
A focused swordsman.
A flailing axe.
A relaxed blade.
A fighter’s fist.
A disciple’s rod.
A soldier’s pride.
A knight’s honor.
Fighting for country.
Fighting for tradition.
A blade of steel.
A blade of wood.
A warrior’s roar.
A youngling’s cry.
The battle fought.
The battle won.
The battle left.
The battle lost.
Fighting for everything.
Fighting for nothing.
Fighting for the love.
Of living this life.
They fight for the love.
To fight.

H.S. Poetry Part 7, Experimental Poem (Spiral)

Up

Down

In Out

Upside

Down

Inside Outside

All

Around

Right  Left

South

West East

North


Center


Which way do we go?