Who Are They?
Who are they, the people I know?
The people I call my friends
On the outside, they seem so strange
But inward, they have a spark
One of my friends has azure hair
And touches women where they shriek
But he has a more artistic side
Under his lecherous ways.
Another friend gets sugar highs
Some thinks she loves women
Some think she belongs elsewhere
But she has a side we never know
Another friend, she seems so strange
Wearing black and speaking softly
But she has talents, her very own
She will take her destiny by the throat
This certain girl, she draws all day
Nothing else consumes herself
She seems so selfish, so insecure
But aren’t we all a little bit of that?
Another lady, she dances happily
A sugar high on pocky sticks
She skips around and hugs her friend
She has her ways and you have yours
Another friend has a short fuse
But his music speaks volumes
Though he has strange ways
We don’t care
A taller friend
He seems a jester, smiling all without
But within he has other faces
He is not a clown, but an actor
And the other friends
I know so little
They speak not their minds
But that’s alright
I know they care
But the others around us
They seem to glare
And laugh and sneer at our faults
But we don’t care
We say to them
Who are they?
12/17/03
The World Is Confusing
My life has been confusing
My life has been a trial
I’ve loved, I’ve lost
My feelings have been lost and found
I see my peers and acquaintances
I loathe them and I love them
Deceived, denied, detested
Loved, loathed, left
The world is cruel, the world is good
The world is confusing
The lives of some are next to perfect
The lives of some are next to insanity
My life has been a bit of both
My parents have seen my successes
My friends have seen my failures
My person has been warped and crushed
Am I sad? Am I glad? Am I good? Am I bad?
Soon I will find out the mystery
The world gives up to me
But until that day begins
I will continue contemplating
Some may succeed, some may fail
Some will live and some will die
Many will live a life unfulfilled
But many will find their destiny
I hope that mine will find me
Friday, May 21, 2010
H.S. Poetry Part 21 (Wrong, Why Do They Hate Me?)
Wrong
“You’re wrong” they say
What did I do?
I try to fit in
But that doesn’t work
What’s right and wrong
A mirror that’s broken
Shattered visions and thoughts
Cloud truth and concept
I ask for help
They try and teach
But the lesson is blurred
And I continue to fail
I try to explain
I try to teach
But they don’t even turn
Their heads to see
Fall to the ground
And think to find
The answers to my problems
But someone will try
To learn what I teach
And I won’t be the one
Who says, “You’re wrong”
3/12/04
Why Do They Hate Me?
Living in a world of shadows
I stand, a silver light
I’m not the same as they are
But they say I’m not right
Why do they hate me?
I try to smile and laugh
But it’s not the same for I
I know that laughter isn’t the truth
Why do they hate me?
Is it because they are afraid
Of what I could do?
Are are they simply faded?
Why do they hate me?
I live my life for nothing.
I live my life for me.
Can I love for another
Who can truly love me?
Why do they hate me?
Perhaps, I hate them
Perhaps, they don’t hate
They don’t understand me
I am so cold
You are so warm
Lukewarm people are not so bad
Why don’t you hate me?
12/16/03
“You’re wrong” they say
What did I do?
I try to fit in
But that doesn’t work
What’s right and wrong
A mirror that’s broken
Shattered visions and thoughts
Cloud truth and concept
I ask for help
They try and teach
But the lesson is blurred
And I continue to fail
I try to explain
I try to teach
But they don’t even turn
Their heads to see
Fall to the ground
And think to find
The answers to my problems
But someone will try
To learn what I teach
And I won’t be the one
Who says, “You’re wrong”
3/12/04
Why Do They Hate Me?
Living in a world of shadows
I stand, a silver light
I’m not the same as they are
But they say I’m not right
Why do they hate me?
I try to smile and laugh
But it’s not the same for I
I know that laughter isn’t the truth
Why do they hate me?
Is it because they are afraid
Of what I could do?
Are are they simply faded?
Why do they hate me?
I live my life for nothing.
I live my life for me.
Can I love for another
Who can truly love me?
Why do they hate me?
Perhaps, I hate them
Perhaps, they don’t hate
They don’t understand me
I am so cold
You are so warm
Lukewarm people are not so bad
Why don’t you hate me?
12/16/03
H.S. Poetry Part 20 (You Watch Me, Sentiments, Vortex)
You Watch Me
You watch me
Like a bird of prey
I am your sustenance
Like a temple priest
I am the heretic
I am your enemy
I am your ally
Do you care?
You still see me
My every move
My every thought
Why do you stare?
And haunt me so?
You drive me mad
With your constant watch
But maybe because.
I also like to watch
12/21/03
Sentiments
Love is gracious
Love is kind
Love is changing
Peoples’ minds
Benevolence
Unchanging grace
Bringing outcasts
Face to face
Ancient beings
Timeless dark
Future uncertain
To them we lark
Emotions warping
Melted glass
A strange new concept
But alas
Unnecessary feelings
Illogical thoughts
Humans are strange
But not all are sought
Some are lonely
Some are strange
Some feel hatred
Mind rearranged
Insanity cries
And sorrow weeps
The reaper sighs
His watch he keeps
Feelings confusing
Emotions lost
Great power is gained
But at what cost?
To lose one’s soul
And gain the earth
Is not true power
But passing mirth
Concluding life
Concluding fate
Sentiments abounding
It is far too late
5/21/04
Vortex
It’s a little quiet now
Every sound jumps out
It strikes your ears
Banging like drums
A rustle of paper
Scratches of lead upon it
Coughs and sniffles of winter colds
The silence breaks
Strangely open sounds
Blending into chaotic clouds of colloquialism
Storms of socializing slang
Acrostic, pnemonic, platonic
Emotions, desires, duality
Right and wrong, evil and good
I’m angry and you’re sad
You want to go outside
While I like inner solitude
Silence outside is fun
Inner empty voices fall dead
But just wait a little longer
And maybe they’ll start up again
10/25/04
You watch me
Like a bird of prey
I am your sustenance
Like a temple priest
I am the heretic
I am your enemy
I am your ally
Do you care?
You still see me
My every move
My every thought
Why do you stare?
And haunt me so?
You drive me mad
With your constant watch
But maybe because.
I also like to watch
12/21/03
Sentiments
Love is gracious
Love is kind
Love is changing
Peoples’ minds
Benevolence
Unchanging grace
Bringing outcasts
Face to face
Ancient beings
Timeless dark
Future uncertain
To them we lark
Emotions warping
Melted glass
A strange new concept
But alas
Unnecessary feelings
Illogical thoughts
Humans are strange
But not all are sought
Some are lonely
Some are strange
Some feel hatred
Mind rearranged
Insanity cries
And sorrow weeps
The reaper sighs
His watch he keeps
Feelings confusing
Emotions lost
Great power is gained
But at what cost?
To lose one’s soul
And gain the earth
Is not true power
But passing mirth
Concluding life
Concluding fate
Sentiments abounding
It is far too late
5/21/04
Vortex
It’s a little quiet now
Every sound jumps out
It strikes your ears
Banging like drums
A rustle of paper
Scratches of lead upon it
Coughs and sniffles of winter colds
The silence breaks
Strangely open sounds
Blending into chaotic clouds of colloquialism
Storms of socializing slang
Acrostic, pnemonic, platonic
Emotions, desires, duality
Right and wrong, evil and good
I’m angry and you’re sad
You want to go outside
While I like inner solitude
Silence outside is fun
Inner empty voices fall dead
But just wait a little longer
And maybe they’ll start up again
10/25/04
Saturday, May 15, 2010
H.S. Poetry Part 19 (Doll House, Glass Trees, Just Like You, Look At Us)
Doll House
All these people
Not one of them frowns
All with painted smiles
All with wasted bliss
They never shed a tear
That isn’t artificial
Never growl in fury
With nonexistent teeth
They smile in recognition
They smirk in pity
But inside, they all suffer
They hide their tears and frowns
They shield their rage and sorrow
With synthetic smiles and grins
They lie to themselves and others
In their doll house lives
A guise of happiness soon is thrown away
For the true mask of misery
12/21/03
Glass Trees
Crystalline branches
Bathed in light
Twinkling facets shine
In the sunrise
We pass them by
And wait for the spring
As the sun sets
The diamond arbors
Lost their luster
We wait patiently
For the next winter
To see the trees of glass
That shatter in the night
Lost in their beauty
We forget that spring
Is lurking beneath the
Glass perfection
We mustn’t let
The trees covered in prism
That make the lights dance and frolic
The ones that make us forget
The sheer reality
That glass is fragile
And will break in the spring night
We mustn’t let them disappear
1/11/04
Just Like You
We were once the same, but now
You follow a different path
I once could always talk with you
But now…well you do the math
We come from different worlds
Our minds are not the same
Out likes and dislikes conflict
Putting each other to shame
But in the end, I find that
We aren’t that different at all
After all, aren’t we both a person
That follows a drawing call?
So, in the end, I’m sorry; I’m not at all like you
But, you’re not like me either. So I’m still just like you.
Look at Us
Look at us
We stand out
Scars or imperfections
Matter not in the end
For the ones who are outcasts
Can make the normal feel exiled
Look at us
At what we do
Do you want
To be different too?
Can we be the same
As everyone else
If we no longer feel
The same as before
10/31/03
All these people
Not one of them frowns
All with painted smiles
All with wasted bliss
They never shed a tear
That isn’t artificial
Never growl in fury
With nonexistent teeth
They smile in recognition
They smirk in pity
But inside, they all suffer
They hide their tears and frowns
They shield their rage and sorrow
With synthetic smiles and grins
They lie to themselves and others
In their doll house lives
A guise of happiness soon is thrown away
For the true mask of misery
12/21/03
Glass Trees
Crystalline branches
Bathed in light
Twinkling facets shine
In the sunrise
We pass them by
And wait for the spring
As the sun sets
The diamond arbors
Lost their luster
We wait patiently
For the next winter
To see the trees of glass
That shatter in the night
Lost in their beauty
We forget that spring
Is lurking beneath the
Glass perfection
We mustn’t let
The trees covered in prism
That make the lights dance and frolic
The ones that make us forget
The sheer reality
That glass is fragile
And will break in the spring night
We mustn’t let them disappear
1/11/04
Just Like You
We were once the same, but now
You follow a different path
I once could always talk with you
But now…well you do the math
We come from different worlds
Our minds are not the same
Out likes and dislikes conflict
Putting each other to shame
But in the end, I find that
We aren’t that different at all
After all, aren’t we both a person
That follows a drawing call?
So, in the end, I’m sorry; I’m not at all like you
But, you’re not like me either. So I’m still just like you.
Look at Us
Look at us
We stand out
Scars or imperfections
Matter not in the end
For the ones who are outcasts
Can make the normal feel exiled
Look at us
At what we do
Do you want
To be different too?
Can we be the same
As everyone else
If we no longer feel
The same as before
10/31/03
H.S. Poetry Part 18 (No Escape, Choices, Dissension, Masquerade)
No Escape
We live
We die
We laugh
We cry
He laughs
She cries
They live
They die
I love
You hate
There is
No escape
I live
I die
You laugh
You cry
They scoff
They jeer
They roar
They cheer
We live
We cry
We laugh
We die
I love
You hate
There is
No escape
Choices
A life of choices
What to do?
Choose light
Or darkness
Make war
Or peace
Can there be
Pain without healing?
Can there be
Bliss without sorrow?
The way of earth
The way of divine
A choice of a greater power
Or a destiny of a greater existence
A fire extinguishes a puddle
A flood drowns a candle
A fallen angel
A risen devil
What are choices
But a destiny of life?
Choice of darkness
Freedom, selfish desire, greed
Choice of light
Conformity, oppression of weak, selflessness
Evil exists in the pure
Justice can be found in corrupt
A plea of death
Acceptance of evil
A cry of life
Succumbing to good
Choices hurt
Choices heal
A final word
A finite world
Ancient technology
Advanced artifacts
A far cry from the future
A close laugh from the past
The present is clouded
The future is hidden
The past is destroyed
Tomorrow’s yesterday is today
Choices are nothing
But are the end
Make your life
One of nature
Calm and innocent
Unknowing of corruption
Accepting the outside choices.
3/26/04
Dissension
Chaotic life
Destructive forces of humanity
A bloody weapon
Stabs into flesh
Death breathes heavily
Sorrow is a wellspring of lamentations
Anger soon follows, a wave of fury
Inhibition is inevitable
Acting without reason
Paranoia, fear, superstition
A thought of monsters and magic
Foolish concepts of discord
A society ruled by fables
Without conflict, change dies in vain
A mysterious sage
Without name
Has arrived to spread lies
But any who question the prophet
Are chastised
His greatness speaks volumes
A graybeard that shrouds golden locks
Temptation, hatred, desires unfold
And dissension ends it all
10/12/04
Masquerade
Opening doors I never saw
A party of familiar voices
Opening my eyes, I blink twice
I see new faces from unknown
I talk as normal, but then I find
They aren’t the people I thought I heard
Who must we lie and mask
The fears of the world we have?
My mask is twisted macabre
A face of a madman’s dreams
Laughing without end
Smiling without thought
A malicious grin hides a gentle smile
What to do? What to try?
I gasp and clutch my head
I can’t think! I can’t feel!
A throng of music and sounds
I fall to the ground
And tear off my façade
“Join the party,” they say
I smile and start to dance
I care not what they think now
I join the masquerade
3/4/04
We live
We die
We laugh
We cry
He laughs
She cries
They live
They die
I love
You hate
There is
No escape
I live
I die
You laugh
You cry
They scoff
They jeer
They roar
They cheer
We live
We cry
We laugh
We die
I love
You hate
There is
No escape
Choices
A life of choices
What to do?
Choose light
Or darkness
Make war
Or peace
Can there be
Pain without healing?
Can there be
Bliss without sorrow?
The way of earth
The way of divine
A choice of a greater power
Or a destiny of a greater existence
A fire extinguishes a puddle
A flood drowns a candle
A fallen angel
A risen devil
What are choices
But a destiny of life?
Choice of darkness
Freedom, selfish desire, greed
Choice of light
Conformity, oppression of weak, selflessness
Evil exists in the pure
Justice can be found in corrupt
A plea of death
Acceptance of evil
A cry of life
Succumbing to good
Choices hurt
Choices heal
A final word
A finite world
Ancient technology
Advanced artifacts
A far cry from the future
A close laugh from the past
The present is clouded
The future is hidden
The past is destroyed
Tomorrow’s yesterday is today
Choices are nothing
But are the end
Make your life
One of nature
Calm and innocent
Unknowing of corruption
Accepting the outside choices.
3/26/04
Dissension
Chaotic life
Destructive forces of humanity
A bloody weapon
Stabs into flesh
Death breathes heavily
Sorrow is a wellspring of lamentations
Anger soon follows, a wave of fury
Inhibition is inevitable
Acting without reason
Paranoia, fear, superstition
A thought of monsters and magic
Foolish concepts of discord
A society ruled by fables
Without conflict, change dies in vain
A mysterious sage
Without name
Has arrived to spread lies
But any who question the prophet
Are chastised
His greatness speaks volumes
A graybeard that shrouds golden locks
Temptation, hatred, desires unfold
And dissension ends it all
10/12/04
Masquerade
Opening doors I never saw
A party of familiar voices
Opening my eyes, I blink twice
I see new faces from unknown
I talk as normal, but then I find
They aren’t the people I thought I heard
Who must we lie and mask
The fears of the world we have?
My mask is twisted macabre
A face of a madman’s dreams
Laughing without end
Smiling without thought
A malicious grin hides a gentle smile
What to do? What to try?
I gasp and clutch my head
I can’t think! I can’t feel!
A throng of music and sounds
I fall to the ground
And tear off my façade
“Join the party,” they say
I smile and start to dance
I care not what they think now
I join the masquerade
3/4/04
H.S. Poetry Part 17 (Mephistopheles, Passing On, The Truest Face)
Mephisto(pheles)
Ancient trinity of power
Exists to destroy us all
It counts down to the final hour
A dangerous existence upon that tower
A lord tortures and tames his thrall
Ancient trinity of power
Seeing beyond the fears of cowards
Ultimate enlightenment and death befalls
It counts down to the final hour
Who does the light of life now shine for?
Injustice or righteousness’s call?
Ancient trinity of power
Losing the will to cling to hope, you devour
potential of reality, illusion doesn’t seem so small
It counts down to the final hour
Where does the existence end in showers?
When does the sullen rain fall?
Ancient trinity of power
It counts down to the final hour
11/8/04
Passing On
A cooling breeze
Subdues lukewarm summers
Autumn soon fades to oblivion
Obscure and superfluous
Bitter winter death
Stiff and frozen branches
Frost and flakes of snow
Intimations of the future
But in time
Fresh breath of vibrant spring
Melts away eternal ice
Brings forth happiness again
12/10/04
The Truest Face
The truest face
Of all existence
It reflects all life
Shining justice
Shadow of cruelty
The truest face
Chaos and order
Melting and melding
It reflects all life
Falling apart and dying
The sight of all imperfection
The truest face
Accepting death and imperfection
Acknowledge the unimportance
It reflects all life
Did we see what we missed?
Do we miss what we lost?
The truest face
It reflects all life
11/8/04
Ancient trinity of power
Exists to destroy us all
It counts down to the final hour
A dangerous existence upon that tower
A lord tortures and tames his thrall
Ancient trinity of power
Seeing beyond the fears of cowards
Ultimate enlightenment and death befalls
It counts down to the final hour
Who does the light of life now shine for?
Injustice or righteousness’s call?
Ancient trinity of power
Losing the will to cling to hope, you devour
potential of reality, illusion doesn’t seem so small
It counts down to the final hour
Where does the existence end in showers?
When does the sullen rain fall?
Ancient trinity of power
It counts down to the final hour
11/8/04
Passing On
A cooling breeze
Subdues lukewarm summers
Autumn soon fades to oblivion
Obscure and superfluous
Bitter winter death
Stiff and frozen branches
Frost and flakes of snow
Intimations of the future
But in time
Fresh breath of vibrant spring
Melts away eternal ice
Brings forth happiness again
12/10/04
The Truest Face
The truest face
Of all existence
It reflects all life
Shining justice
Shadow of cruelty
The truest face
Chaos and order
Melting and melding
It reflects all life
Falling apart and dying
The sight of all imperfection
The truest face
Accepting death and imperfection
Acknowledge the unimportance
It reflects all life
Did we see what we missed?
Do we miss what we lost?
The truest face
It reflects all life
11/8/04
Sunday, May 9, 2010
H.S. Poetry Part 16 (Shades of Grey, Shrouded, Wanderlust)
Shades of Grey
A cloud’s silver lining
A spirit divided
Evil pitted with good
Struggle for control
Will you succumb
To be a minion of shadow?
Or will you offer
Your life as light’s champion?
Choices many and confusing
Driven to a life of emptiness
Showing no hatred nor bliss
Emotions clouded by fear
Will you become yourself?
Or someone else’s?
Can you face your fears?
Can you trust yourself?
Mind divided into warring factions
A battlefield of morals
Law and chaos converge
Creating a null force known as apathy
Uncaring, unchanging, unbeing
An illusionary soul
Unseen by the world
Fearing, hating, loving, dying
Tis our choice to choose
Not the ones we love
Hope is the support
For our pain and sorrow
Hope is the link
To which love clings
Shrouded
Hidden in cloaks of shadow,
I seek to find the light.
Confused, distraught, and mistaken,
Nobody can see my plight.
I close out all my smiles,
Seemingly killing my sickness.
I shut out all of my emotions,
Thinking I’m rid of my weakness.
Yet, alone I stand in the darkness,
A sorrow that plagues my mind.
Feeling trapped, yet free,
I ask the world for a sign.
Realizing my sickness is hate,
I pierce the shrouds of my heart.
Bursting into my ignorant bliss,
My new life begins to start.
9/17/02
Wanderlust
I stride and skulk to places unknown
I walk to where, I don’t know
Stopping to talk, stopping to sleep
Stopping to smile, stopping to weep
Stopping to watch the snow
Meeting a friend
Meeting a foe
Finding love
Or finding sorrow
Lifting my thoughts
To fall on paper
I live in a cruel world
But it isn’t so bad
I may not have love
I may not have somebody to hold
But my talents are mine
And mine alone
I will use them
I will take my own fate
The world can’t take me
The world won’t fool me
I am me
I am not you
Wandering the fields of perplexity
To forever remain, a mercenary
Angel’s wings, demon’s claws
Ebon pupils, snow white eyes
Silver samurai, grey ronin
I live for myself, but
Then…maybe for them
But am I true
To myself
Am I me?
Or a mirror for you?
Maybe I care…for nothing
Maybe…you care…
If you love me
Then…TELL ME!
12/16/03
A cloud’s silver lining
A spirit divided
Evil pitted with good
Struggle for control
Will you succumb
To be a minion of shadow?
Or will you offer
Your life as light’s champion?
Choices many and confusing
Driven to a life of emptiness
Showing no hatred nor bliss
Emotions clouded by fear
Will you become yourself?
Or someone else’s?
Can you face your fears?
Can you trust yourself?
Mind divided into warring factions
A battlefield of morals
Law and chaos converge
Creating a null force known as apathy
Uncaring, unchanging, unbeing
An illusionary soul
Unseen by the world
Fearing, hating, loving, dying
Tis our choice to choose
Not the ones we love
Hope is the support
For our pain and sorrow
Hope is the link
To which love clings
Shrouded
Hidden in cloaks of shadow,
I seek to find the light.
Confused, distraught, and mistaken,
Nobody can see my plight.
I close out all my smiles,
Seemingly killing my sickness.
I shut out all of my emotions,
Thinking I’m rid of my weakness.
Yet, alone I stand in the darkness,
A sorrow that plagues my mind.
Feeling trapped, yet free,
I ask the world for a sign.
Realizing my sickness is hate,
I pierce the shrouds of my heart.
Bursting into my ignorant bliss,
My new life begins to start.
9/17/02
Wanderlust
I stride and skulk to places unknown
I walk to where, I don’t know
Stopping to talk, stopping to sleep
Stopping to smile, stopping to weep
Stopping to watch the snow
Meeting a friend
Meeting a foe
Finding love
Or finding sorrow
Lifting my thoughts
To fall on paper
I live in a cruel world
But it isn’t so bad
I may not have love
I may not have somebody to hold
But my talents are mine
And mine alone
I will use them
I will take my own fate
The world can’t take me
The world won’t fool me
I am me
I am not you
Wandering the fields of perplexity
To forever remain, a mercenary
Angel’s wings, demon’s claws
Ebon pupils, snow white eyes
Silver samurai, grey ronin
I live for myself, but
Then…maybe for them
But am I true
To myself
Am I me?
Or a mirror for you?
Maybe I care…for nothing
Maybe…you care…
If you love me
Then…TELL ME!
12/16/03
H.S. Poetry Part 15 (Mimic, My Reality, Paper Flowers)
You can see some influence from Evanescence if you look closely
Mimic
Losing sight of myself
Reflecting you as my mirror
Can I never find my destiny?
Where do I belong?
Where should I go?
I can’t follow you anymore
But it’s so hard.
For I cannot even follow myself
An empty shell with a blank soul
Living with an uncertain life
Copying another’s actions.
My masks are many and colorful
Changing daily, yet my eyes seem pale
Feelings clouded, emotions disappearing
Do I laugh? Do I cry?
Should I live? Should I die?
Lost past, uncertain future.
But I seek to find myself
In the shadows behind the mask.
I reach out and grasp
Blindly searching for a purpose
Pulling off my façade
I reveal a new face
And the face is not one of yours
No, it is my own creation
It is my mask to use
I no longer mimic another
No longer taking away bliss
For I have found my own happiness.
6/18/03
My Reality
As I live in the world we know
I continue to build my own realm of peace
For this world of pain and suffering
Consumes the blissful ignorance we love
Our emotions are clouded and faded
By our doubts and fears we’ve hidden away.
My reality is a crumbling castle of hope
Its walls are built up and broken down from the inside
My small realm of calm, sweet refuge
Is tainted by the lumbering armies of failure
My reality is a fading dream of the night
Its power lost in the rising day.
Can I make my reality more than a dream?
Will it live in the world that it so despises?
I only wish that for a single day
We could live in my reality
Where no one feels pain
Where no one worries about the past.
Or fears for the future
We need only accept one another
And wish for a better world
If we trust in ourselves
We can change this twisted plane
But we cannot simply hope
We must act on our dreams
To make those ideals reality
But we must think before acting
For we could make a far worse world than before
If we do not realize that we can cause pain
The perfection we wish is truly a dream
But we can work to better our reality
To bring the outside to peace
6/18/03
Paper Flowers
Skulking through shrouded corridors
Longing for death’s lingering grasp
Holding a delicate petal within my palm
It withers away and fades
My paper flower crumbles into nothing
Inner soul wracked with pain
Knowing nothing of outside
Sitting in my quiet chamber
Holding my paper flower
Clasping it to my chest
A faded love
A forgotten memory
A lost destiny
I question my mind’s grasp on outside
Not knowing if I am accepted
Do they push you away
Or pull you down?
I cannot answer the riddles
Enigmas within my soul
I will ponder until the end
And discover its truth
As my paper flower withers and dies.
7/29/03
Mimic
Losing sight of myself
Reflecting you as my mirror
Can I never find my destiny?
Where do I belong?
Where should I go?
I can’t follow you anymore
But it’s so hard.
For I cannot even follow myself
An empty shell with a blank soul
Living with an uncertain life
Copying another’s actions.
My masks are many and colorful
Changing daily, yet my eyes seem pale
Feelings clouded, emotions disappearing
Do I laugh? Do I cry?
Should I live? Should I die?
Lost past, uncertain future.
But I seek to find myself
In the shadows behind the mask.
I reach out and grasp
Blindly searching for a purpose
Pulling off my façade
I reveal a new face
And the face is not one of yours
No, it is my own creation
It is my mask to use
I no longer mimic another
No longer taking away bliss
For I have found my own happiness.
6/18/03
My Reality
As I live in the world we know
I continue to build my own realm of peace
For this world of pain and suffering
Consumes the blissful ignorance we love
Our emotions are clouded and faded
By our doubts and fears we’ve hidden away.
My reality is a crumbling castle of hope
Its walls are built up and broken down from the inside
My small realm of calm, sweet refuge
Is tainted by the lumbering armies of failure
My reality is a fading dream of the night
Its power lost in the rising day.
Can I make my reality more than a dream?
Will it live in the world that it so despises?
I only wish that for a single day
We could live in my reality
Where no one feels pain
Where no one worries about the past.
Or fears for the future
We need only accept one another
And wish for a better world
If we trust in ourselves
We can change this twisted plane
But we cannot simply hope
We must act on our dreams
To make those ideals reality
But we must think before acting
For we could make a far worse world than before
If we do not realize that we can cause pain
The perfection we wish is truly a dream
But we can work to better our reality
To bring the outside to peace
6/18/03
Paper Flowers
Skulking through shrouded corridors
Longing for death’s lingering grasp
Holding a delicate petal within my palm
It withers away and fades
My paper flower crumbles into nothing
Inner soul wracked with pain
Knowing nothing of outside
Sitting in my quiet chamber
Holding my paper flower
Clasping it to my chest
A faded love
A forgotten memory
A lost destiny
I question my mind’s grasp on outside
Not knowing if I am accepted
Do they push you away
Or pull you down?
I cannot answer the riddles
Enigmas within my soul
I will ponder until the end
And discover its truth
As my paper flower withers and dies.
7/29/03
H.S. Poetry Part 14 (Why Do I Not Feel the Cold?, Bless Me Not and Hatepassion)
Why Do I Not Feel The Cold
Why do I not feel the cold?
The stinging wind
The biting air
The chilling snow
The frozen rain
All seem not to hurt me
My flame is flickering
My passions are dying
My anger has subsided
My sorrow has vanished
What do I feel?
I feel not the chill air
I feel not the evil ice
What do I feel?
What can I feel?
Will my passions ignite?
I know not
I don’t know how to feel
Why do I not feel the cold?
12/17/03
Bless Me Not
Bless me not
For I am a fool
I hate you
And yet I love you
Bless me not
I am a demon
I wish to kill
But I wish to help
I belong in hell
Bless me not
I don’t belong
You scorn or ridicule
My blissful ignorance
I know nothing
Of the outside world
I want to escape
Bless me not
I do…not…live
Nor do I die
I am a shade
A living corpse
A fallen knight
A death and a life
An angel and a demon
Bless me not.
12/16/03
Hatepassion
Despising torture
Lusting for pain
A single cut
Bleeds inside
Lying for me
Protecting you
The scrapes
The slashes
The wounds
They bleed
They hurt
They should make me sad
But I feel nothing
Until it’s too late
Too far to turn around
Too behind to rush ahead
A child of darkness
Blossoming roses of black pain
A rage, and anger, a hatred
A blinding fury of myself
Running in circles
Falling on my dreams
I want to help them
I want to love again
But the passion
But the hate
Clouding my thoughts
An undying love
A consuming disgust
I hate and hug you
You love and lose me
I’m sorry
I’ll try harder
You can help
Please tell me
That you truly care
I want to say it
But the passion
Is still a hate
Jared Cowan
3/14/04
Why do I not feel the cold?
The stinging wind
The biting air
The chilling snow
The frozen rain
All seem not to hurt me
My flame is flickering
My passions are dying
My anger has subsided
My sorrow has vanished
What do I feel?
I feel not the chill air
I feel not the evil ice
What do I feel?
What can I feel?
Will my passions ignite?
I know not
I don’t know how to feel
Why do I not feel the cold?
12/17/03
Bless Me Not
Bless me not
For I am a fool
I hate you
And yet I love you
Bless me not
I am a demon
I wish to kill
But I wish to help
I belong in hell
Bless me not
I don’t belong
You scorn or ridicule
My blissful ignorance
I know nothing
Of the outside world
I want to escape
Bless me not
I do…not…live
Nor do I die
I am a shade
A living corpse
A fallen knight
A death and a life
An angel and a demon
Bless me not.
12/16/03
Hatepassion
Despising torture
Lusting for pain
A single cut
Bleeds inside
Lying for me
Protecting you
The scrapes
The slashes
The wounds
They bleed
They hurt
They should make me sad
But I feel nothing
Until it’s too late
Too far to turn around
Too behind to rush ahead
A child of darkness
Blossoming roses of black pain
A rage, and anger, a hatred
A blinding fury of myself
Running in circles
Falling on my dreams
I want to help them
I want to love again
But the passion
But the hate
Clouding my thoughts
An undying love
A consuming disgust
I hate and hug you
You love and lose me
I’m sorry
I’ll try harder
You can help
Please tell me
That you truly care
I want to say it
But the passion
Is still a hate
Jared Cowan
3/14/04
Haikus Part 2 (Various Themes)
This is pretty much every other haiku I have. It was a short phase. I might get back into it, though. Basho is quite nice
A crimson petal
Plummets to the ground below
Crashes into snow
A malicious form
Slices through the soul’s deep shroud
Pierces into life
A single ray of hope
Shines through the shadow of death
Throwing back its cloak
Shrieks of dread resound
As hallucinations rise
Cowering in fear
Alone and confused
Yet on each side stands a friend
He is singled out
A demonic form
Creeps from behind shadows
And corrupts the light
A flaming bird falls
Crashing to the ground below
It rises anew
A cloak of the past
Shrouds all of the present’s light
Trapping the future
Confused and afraid
Of releasing inner thoughts
Sorrow never leaves
Blackest form of night
Shrouds all thoughts of future hope.
A lance pierces through
A lone form crouches
Preparing to strike the meek
He rears back, but stops.
Distant flames approach
Turning all in its path
To cinders of red
A form of heaven
And yet, is hell’s avatar
A forbidden bond
The earth starts to shake
Cracks appear on a mountain
Flame bursts from the top
Hugging her shoulders
A girl begins to shiver
Her heart is ice cold
As swift as the wind
A blade cuts through human flesh
His blood runs freely
Pressing against her
A man’s lips brush against hers
His passion rises
He slices, cuts, stabs
The blade is soaked in their blood
No remorse is shown
Winding wisps of air
Twirl through clouds of misty fog
The currents go far
Rustling leaves brush
Veins twisting against their will
Fingers of trees twitch
Haikus 2
Rushing leaves float by
A blade cuts through the noon air
They crash to the ground
Rising orb of night
Shining through a shroud of black
Destroyed by stray wisps
Two spirits converge here
One of shade and other light
A swirling symbol
Listless eyes look up
From focusing mind’s closed eye
Snapping lids flash bright
Puffs of cloud spinning
Ancient beings raise astral
Hands to strike the earth
Hidden emotions
Feelings that no one can know
Lost in the shadow
Tortured memories
Demonic angelic soul
Trapped in mortal shape
Glistening lights flash
Piercing my vision and mind
Simply reflection
Forged in spirit hearth
Water caresses its fangs
A divine tiger
A crimson petal
Plummets to the ground below
Crashes into snow
A malicious form
Slices through the soul’s deep shroud
Pierces into life
A single ray of hope
Shines through the shadow of death
Throwing back its cloak
Shrieks of dread resound
As hallucinations rise
Cowering in fear
Alone and confused
Yet on each side stands a friend
He is singled out
A demonic form
Creeps from behind shadows
And corrupts the light
A flaming bird falls
Crashing to the ground below
It rises anew
A cloak of the past
Shrouds all of the present’s light
Trapping the future
Confused and afraid
Of releasing inner thoughts
Sorrow never leaves
Blackest form of night
Shrouds all thoughts of future hope.
A lance pierces through
A lone form crouches
Preparing to strike the meek
He rears back, but stops.
Distant flames approach
Turning all in its path
To cinders of red
A form of heaven
And yet, is hell’s avatar
A forbidden bond
The earth starts to shake
Cracks appear on a mountain
Flame bursts from the top
Hugging her shoulders
A girl begins to shiver
Her heart is ice cold
As swift as the wind
A blade cuts through human flesh
His blood runs freely
Pressing against her
A man’s lips brush against hers
His passion rises
He slices, cuts, stabs
The blade is soaked in their blood
No remorse is shown
Winding wisps of air
Twirl through clouds of misty fog
The currents go far
Rustling leaves brush
Veins twisting against their will
Fingers of trees twitch
Haikus 2
Rushing leaves float by
A blade cuts through the noon air
They crash to the ground
Rising orb of night
Shining through a shroud of black
Destroyed by stray wisps
Two spirits converge here
One of shade and other light
A swirling symbol
Listless eyes look up
From focusing mind’s closed eye
Snapping lids flash bright
Puffs of cloud spinning
Ancient beings raise astral
Hands to strike the earth
Hidden emotions
Feelings that no one can know
Lost in the shadow
Tortured memories
Demonic angelic soul
Trapped in mortal shape
Glistening lights flash
Piercing my vision and mind
Simply reflection
Forged in spirit hearth
Water caresses its fangs
A divine tiger
Haikus Part 1 (Final Fantasy 7 Themed )
Yuffie
Thievery and greed.
Emerged from righteousness.
Honor shows her all.
A ninja’s honor
Is tainted by a thief’s greed
Yet honor is gained
Red XIII
A wild, raging beast.
Carries knowledge of the past.
A legacy shines.
Cait Sith/Reeve
Lying to oneself.
Controlling courage by wires.
Inner fate is shown.
Courageous acts gone
Controlling true fate by wires
Bravery is shown
Hojo
Seeing true powers.
Obsessions creep from behind.
Insane pleasures rise.
Ifalna
A woman arose
Procreated with mortals
And bore new powers
Aerith
Arising new joys
Rays arise from the tunnel
Perfection appears
Voices of life speak
A tiny spirit of light
Deters all evil
Voices of life speak
A form of light rises up
Deters all evil
Cloud
Steps through illusion
A search for reality
Blinding truth reveals
Tifa
Hidden emotions
Feelings that no one can know
A shell of a soul
Barret
Victories are lost
An extension has been lost
Rage will consume him
Sephiroth
A tainted, lone soul
Steps through a meaningless life
Darkness engulfs him
A fallen angel
An outcast of the world
A shattered being
Cid
Dreams of the sky lost
A void sprinkled with stars gone
Grudges have emerged
Vincent
Guilt of past failures
Clouds his mind with sorrow’s pain
A coffin door shuts
Guilts of the past rise
Clouding the mind with sorrow
A coffin door shuts
Thievery and greed.
Emerged from righteousness.
Honor shows her all.
A ninja’s honor
Is tainted by a thief’s greed
Yet honor is gained
Red XIII
A wild, raging beast.
Carries knowledge of the past.
A legacy shines.
Cait Sith/Reeve
Lying to oneself.
Controlling courage by wires.
Inner fate is shown.
Courageous acts gone
Controlling true fate by wires
Bravery is shown
Hojo
Seeing true powers.
Obsessions creep from behind.
Insane pleasures rise.
Ifalna
A woman arose
Procreated with mortals
And bore new powers
Aerith
Arising new joys
Rays arise from the tunnel
Perfection appears
Voices of life speak
A tiny spirit of light
Deters all evil
Voices of life speak
A form of light rises up
Deters all evil
Cloud
Steps through illusion
A search for reality
Blinding truth reveals
Tifa
Hidden emotions
Feelings that no one can know
A shell of a soul
Barret
Victories are lost
An extension has been lost
Rage will consume him
Sephiroth
A tainted, lone soul
Steps through a meaningless life
Darkness engulfs him
A fallen angel
An outcast of the world
A shattered being
Cid
Dreams of the sky lost
A void sprinkled with stars gone
Grudges have emerged
Vincent
Guilt of past failures
Clouds his mind with sorrow’s pain
A coffin door shuts
Guilts of the past rise
Clouding the mind with sorrow
A coffin door shuts
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