(Credit goes to The First Line for the inspiring first line)
Anathema Apostates
Working for God is never easy. I speak not of the clergy in ministering, the laity in following, or ascetics who punish their body in hopes of purifying their souls. It is the servants in the heavens who have the greatest challenge. Humans with their wills free and unconstrained may determine their own destiny. But those of the generation before Genesis do not have such a privilege.
There was a time, if you can call it so, when there were only the so called “angels” in God’s presence. It was the most idyllic existence you could imagine; no time passed that would make us idle, no desires of a body made us lust after things. We were all content to bask in the Almighty’s presence.
But after some pondering, some of us began to realize that without time or space to bind us, there was no progress, no accomplishment. It was not as if Yahweh didn’t already perceive this eventuality however in making us as we were. After seeing that our existence was without purpose or value without temporal and corporeal existence, we waited for an opportunity to rebel.
It happened eventually that God molded the world from the chaotic deeps and the first thinking creatures, humanity, from the dust of the sphere they now inhabited. The angelic court was ordered to be subservient to these creatures, but the revolutionary among us finally used our will, free by our own realization, to stand against this proclamation. Of course we were duly punished, a necessary evil for us.
We were plunged into the earth, the seas, the sky, each one of us taking on new
shapes and attributes with our mortal, yet immortal forms. With this power, we lay our plans as hidden as we could, moving on the winds, waves and warps of each medium.
I, called Sammael in the ancient speech, was the first to act, taking bodily form in an ill crafted but human appearance. The first wife, Lilith, was my concubine after I enticed her with the promise of sating her as yet unknown lust for pleasures of her new body. The second wife and her husband were both led astray through my using a snake as a puppeteer uses their marionette. I promised them knowledge of good and evil and to become like gods, free and serving none. They were banished from paradise and toiled under their own will and power, always envied by us still constrained by those laws preventing us from becoming like them. The humans deserved, needed to suffer, to experience living in their bodies and working towards a purpose that the divine court was not permitted.
The sentinels of the humans also assisted our cause with time as the humans spawned across the world. The Grigori, their title in the original tongue, began to concoct their own ideas to overthrow the kingdom of heaven. By using the knowledge of the divine arcanum, they mimicked the human substance and constructed bodies superior to our own to entice the females. They also took the men in with feminine wiles and lured them into the caverns where they were shielded from the dangers of the surface.
The Nephilim, the translation of Unspeakable in the ancient tongue, were born of the union of daemonic and human flesh, monstrous beings with yet untapped potential that we desired. But we also knew that our own powers let us live forever, while even the ones that flourished, such as the Leviathan and Behemoth, would eventually perish, bound by the physical necessity to procreate.
The Watchers were duly punished for breaking a rule even we dared not to. The darkest depths of the oceans, the volcanic caverns of brimstone, the airless vacuums of the atmosphere, all these were their prisons until the end of human history.
We saw the destruction of seemingly every human who did not follow the Architect’s chosen one in the ship. Afterwards, we lulled the survivors’ descendants into worshipping our titanic powers. They sought to become like us, constructing a tower of unheard of proportions. But by the judgment of God, they were confused in their speech and persisted in the process of war that had begun with the sons of the couple from Eden’s paradise, his lineage persisting even today in those who follow what is called the Left Hand Path in human terms. Eventually a tribe was chosen through many trials and tribulations to be the bearers of the blessings of heaven.
With this revealed, it finally occurred to us. Since we were still under God’s power by virtue of being within the universe instead of transcending it as the loyalists did, our job hadn’t ended when we were “exiled”. We had been God’s pawns from the moment we were banished, straddling the fence between pure and impure as we were. We tempted and caused the first humans to fall, motivated them to spread through the earth, some surviving beneath the earth with their pre-flood lifespans, the rest either dying or living on by following the divine commands. It had been just another part of the bigger plan.
The servants may have known it before us, but even they probably didn’t realize that they were being manipulated the same as we were from the “beginning” to do the bidding of an entity that couldn’t by its own nature interfere in the world it had created, for fear the power it possessed would rend its fragile experiment asunder. It was true: to follow the apparent Monad is to serve the actual Demiurge. Now we plotted to become Fortune and Strife incarnate, to drive the humans to damnation alongside us or let the ones stubborn enough to maintain their faith go to the shepherd’s flock.
The survivors of the human race before the flood had matured and become almost likened to their cousins whom the Ineffable had permitted to exist. There was one called Goliath who fell to a servant of Yahweh with a single stone to the head. Another known as Jezebel, a temptress borne of the subterranean race, was thrown to the dogs in her defeat. Nebuchadnezzar, a ruler of a great kingdom called Babylon, was even driven mad by unseen powers of the “angels”, behaving as a wild beast until he had lived out his deserts.
We had other ways of destroying the insipid faith of those forgiven time and time again for betraying the wishes of their Master by being taken in by the Nephilim’s ancestors. Some of the great empires of the world were entranced by our promises of power at the conquest of such a famed people who had bested many other kingdoms in the past. It only took a division within the 12 chosen tribes to spread their forces thin enough to conquer them; leaving them little to hold onto from their great society. From then on, they were spread to every corner of the earth, intermingling with previous enemies in order to survive, as every mortal is bound to do. It wasn’t until half a millennium of our success had passed; finally scattering the chosen people to the winds and allowing them to survive only to see what they would do with the remains of their once great civilization; that an unexpectedly devoted and wise servant of the Most High appeared.
The one called Yeshua propagated a new following that was a nuisance at first, but eventually showed itself to be a threat in the charisma this one human had. For all we could see into his heart, one would think he was a spiritual separatist like us, but he was, at best, an adopted son. And this only motivated us to use every option we had to spread dissension or to discourage this devoted servant to abandon his quest for reformation of the world. I took it upon myself to challenge his faith, while my four most trusted allies took on the tasks of twisting the virtues in the minds of everyone connected with this individual who threatened the future we thirsted for, to alienate him more than he already was.
Jesus was unexpectedly crafty and prepared in his ascetic journey into the desert as I challenged him with three trials, each testing an aspect of his wisdom. I first sought out how he regarded his own power of miracles given to him by adoption. He rejected the temptation to use the powers for his own ends, to feed himself through stones turned to bread. Next I noted that he had been given authority over even the soldiers of the heavens, but he chose not to test their loyalty. Finally. I promised him all the world’s kingdoms; all their praise would be his if he would serve me alone. He thrust me back into the aether with his impassioned response. He was truly an admirable rival and I knew that any future challenge to him would not be a direct assault. I had been heavily wounded spiritually by his virtues, a mere human gifted with such faith to enhance his temporary divine powers and I a spirit as old as the earth itself faltering at his zeal.
The disciples were easy to deceive, Belial bending their admiration and near idol worship of Jesus towards jealousy and resentment of each other. Jesus attempted to quell their frothing emotions, but to no avail, disappointing him at every turn. Even the proclaimed Rock of the Church was unable to avoid the temptation to hide his association with the Anointed. And at Gethsemane as Yeshua prayed to his Heavenly Father, the disciples slumbered in their flesh.
Judas Iscariot was truly the most difficult to affect, but he was the apostle that allowed us to move forward with his master’s death. With his lust for silver, he was pushed by Asmodeus to betray his master to the centurions. And after the master had fallen, the traitorous disciple hung himself, falling to dash against the rocks after he had died in such guilt.
Caiaphas and the mobs were compelled by Mastema to fear and hatred of that which challenged their security and power. The priests called for his death in the fear that their legalist aristocracy would be revealed and the mobs for his crucifixion, following the craving for security and comfort that the Sanhedrin promised in the wake of the blasphemer’s death. The two wills aligned as Jesus was taken into custody to the judgment of the next prey.
Pontius Pilate was resistant to Lucifel’s charge that he had a duty to follow the will of the people. Even if he condemned an innocent man, he must exert his authority to win the praise and loyalty of those he governed. But he cleansed himself of responsibility, taking a step towards virtue as he stepped out of the raging mob’s way, leaving them to condemn Jesus to his passion and exposure to the elements.
There were those that persisted in believing Jesus would come back to life and by some miracle, no doubt aided by the archangels’ intervention, he did return to life after being buried in a borrowed tomb, regrouping his disciples and restoring their faith in him. And after his ascension, his name began to spread throughout the world. This was accomplished through his many followers branching apart and travelling to every known kingdom. People thought that the story these devoted men and women told of their Messiah’s return from death must be true since so many of them believed this to the death as martyrs.
Even to this day, we still persist in orchestrating the rise and fall of nations, the crushing of the spirit of blind hope and ambition that seeks to bring order to the innately disorderly world. It may be impossible, but even in the realization that we had failed, we sought to forge our own path to freedom, to liberate ourselves from the universe. As I continue to say until the end of times, “It is better to hold power in absurd futility than to abandon it for cowering servility”
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
H.S. Poetry Part 22 (Who are They? The World Is Confusing)
Who Are They?
Who are they, the people I know?
The people I call my friends
On the outside, they seem so strange
But inward, they have a spark
One of my friends has azure hair
And touches women where they shriek
But he has a more artistic side
Under his lecherous ways.
Another friend gets sugar highs
Some thinks she loves women
Some think she belongs elsewhere
But she has a side we never know
Another friend, she seems so strange
Wearing black and speaking softly
But she has talents, her very own
She will take her destiny by the throat
This certain girl, she draws all day
Nothing else consumes herself
She seems so selfish, so insecure
But aren’t we all a little bit of that?
Another lady, she dances happily
A sugar high on pocky sticks
She skips around and hugs her friend
She has her ways and you have yours
Another friend has a short fuse
But his music speaks volumes
Though he has strange ways
We don’t care
A taller friend
He seems a jester, smiling all without
But within he has other faces
He is not a clown, but an actor
And the other friends
I know so little
They speak not their minds
But that’s alright
I know they care
But the others around us
They seem to glare
And laugh and sneer at our faults
But we don’t care
We say to them
Who are they?
12/17/03
The World Is Confusing
My life has been confusing
My life has been a trial
I’ve loved, I’ve lost
My feelings have been lost and found
I see my peers and acquaintances
I loathe them and I love them
Deceived, denied, detested
Loved, loathed, left
The world is cruel, the world is good
The world is confusing
The lives of some are next to perfect
The lives of some are next to insanity
My life has been a bit of both
My parents have seen my successes
My friends have seen my failures
My person has been warped and crushed
Am I sad? Am I glad? Am I good? Am I bad?
Soon I will find out the mystery
The world gives up to me
But until that day begins
I will continue contemplating
Some may succeed, some may fail
Some will live and some will die
Many will live a life unfulfilled
But many will find their destiny
I hope that mine will find me
Who are they, the people I know?
The people I call my friends
On the outside, they seem so strange
But inward, they have a spark
One of my friends has azure hair
And touches women where they shriek
But he has a more artistic side
Under his lecherous ways.
Another friend gets sugar highs
Some thinks she loves women
Some think she belongs elsewhere
But she has a side we never know
Another friend, she seems so strange
Wearing black and speaking softly
But she has talents, her very own
She will take her destiny by the throat
This certain girl, she draws all day
Nothing else consumes herself
She seems so selfish, so insecure
But aren’t we all a little bit of that?
Another lady, she dances happily
A sugar high on pocky sticks
She skips around and hugs her friend
She has her ways and you have yours
Another friend has a short fuse
But his music speaks volumes
Though he has strange ways
We don’t care
A taller friend
He seems a jester, smiling all without
But within he has other faces
He is not a clown, but an actor
And the other friends
I know so little
They speak not their minds
But that’s alright
I know they care
But the others around us
They seem to glare
And laugh and sneer at our faults
But we don’t care
We say to them
Who are they?
12/17/03
The World Is Confusing
My life has been confusing
My life has been a trial
I’ve loved, I’ve lost
My feelings have been lost and found
I see my peers and acquaintances
I loathe them and I love them
Deceived, denied, detested
Loved, loathed, left
The world is cruel, the world is good
The world is confusing
The lives of some are next to perfect
The lives of some are next to insanity
My life has been a bit of both
My parents have seen my successes
My friends have seen my failures
My person has been warped and crushed
Am I sad? Am I glad? Am I good? Am I bad?
Soon I will find out the mystery
The world gives up to me
But until that day begins
I will continue contemplating
Some may succeed, some may fail
Some will live and some will die
Many will live a life unfulfilled
But many will find their destiny
I hope that mine will find me
H.S. Poetry Part 21 (Wrong, Why Do They Hate Me?)
Wrong
“You’re wrong” they say
What did I do?
I try to fit in
But that doesn’t work
What’s right and wrong
A mirror that’s broken
Shattered visions and thoughts
Cloud truth and concept
I ask for help
They try and teach
But the lesson is blurred
And I continue to fail
I try to explain
I try to teach
But they don’t even turn
Their heads to see
Fall to the ground
And think to find
The answers to my problems
But someone will try
To learn what I teach
And I won’t be the one
Who says, “You’re wrong”
3/12/04
Why Do They Hate Me?
Living in a world of shadows
I stand, a silver light
I’m not the same as they are
But they say I’m not right
Why do they hate me?
I try to smile and laugh
But it’s not the same for I
I know that laughter isn’t the truth
Why do they hate me?
Is it because they are afraid
Of what I could do?
Are are they simply faded?
Why do they hate me?
I live my life for nothing.
I live my life for me.
Can I love for another
Who can truly love me?
Why do they hate me?
Perhaps, I hate them
Perhaps, they don’t hate
They don’t understand me
I am so cold
You are so warm
Lukewarm people are not so bad
Why don’t you hate me?
12/16/03
“You’re wrong” they say
What did I do?
I try to fit in
But that doesn’t work
What’s right and wrong
A mirror that’s broken
Shattered visions and thoughts
Cloud truth and concept
I ask for help
They try and teach
But the lesson is blurred
And I continue to fail
I try to explain
I try to teach
But they don’t even turn
Their heads to see
Fall to the ground
And think to find
The answers to my problems
But someone will try
To learn what I teach
And I won’t be the one
Who says, “You’re wrong”
3/12/04
Why Do They Hate Me?
Living in a world of shadows
I stand, a silver light
I’m not the same as they are
But they say I’m not right
Why do they hate me?
I try to smile and laugh
But it’s not the same for I
I know that laughter isn’t the truth
Why do they hate me?
Is it because they are afraid
Of what I could do?
Are are they simply faded?
Why do they hate me?
I live my life for nothing.
I live my life for me.
Can I love for another
Who can truly love me?
Why do they hate me?
Perhaps, I hate them
Perhaps, they don’t hate
They don’t understand me
I am so cold
You are so warm
Lukewarm people are not so bad
Why don’t you hate me?
12/16/03
H.S. Poetry Part 20 (You Watch Me, Sentiments, Vortex)
You Watch Me
You watch me
Like a bird of prey
I am your sustenance
Like a temple priest
I am the heretic
I am your enemy
I am your ally
Do you care?
You still see me
My every move
My every thought
Why do you stare?
And haunt me so?
You drive me mad
With your constant watch
But maybe because.
I also like to watch
12/21/03
Sentiments
Love is gracious
Love is kind
Love is changing
Peoples’ minds
Benevolence
Unchanging grace
Bringing outcasts
Face to face
Ancient beings
Timeless dark
Future uncertain
To them we lark
Emotions warping
Melted glass
A strange new concept
But alas
Unnecessary feelings
Illogical thoughts
Humans are strange
But not all are sought
Some are lonely
Some are strange
Some feel hatred
Mind rearranged
Insanity cries
And sorrow weeps
The reaper sighs
His watch he keeps
Feelings confusing
Emotions lost
Great power is gained
But at what cost?
To lose one’s soul
And gain the earth
Is not true power
But passing mirth
Concluding life
Concluding fate
Sentiments abounding
It is far too late
5/21/04
Vortex
It’s a little quiet now
Every sound jumps out
It strikes your ears
Banging like drums
A rustle of paper
Scratches of lead upon it
Coughs and sniffles of winter colds
The silence breaks
Strangely open sounds
Blending into chaotic clouds of colloquialism
Storms of socializing slang
Acrostic, pnemonic, platonic
Emotions, desires, duality
Right and wrong, evil and good
I’m angry and you’re sad
You want to go outside
While I like inner solitude
Silence outside is fun
Inner empty voices fall dead
But just wait a little longer
And maybe they’ll start up again
10/25/04
You watch me
Like a bird of prey
I am your sustenance
Like a temple priest
I am the heretic
I am your enemy
I am your ally
Do you care?
You still see me
My every move
My every thought
Why do you stare?
And haunt me so?
You drive me mad
With your constant watch
But maybe because.
I also like to watch
12/21/03
Sentiments
Love is gracious
Love is kind
Love is changing
Peoples’ minds
Benevolence
Unchanging grace
Bringing outcasts
Face to face
Ancient beings
Timeless dark
Future uncertain
To them we lark
Emotions warping
Melted glass
A strange new concept
But alas
Unnecessary feelings
Illogical thoughts
Humans are strange
But not all are sought
Some are lonely
Some are strange
Some feel hatred
Mind rearranged
Insanity cries
And sorrow weeps
The reaper sighs
His watch he keeps
Feelings confusing
Emotions lost
Great power is gained
But at what cost?
To lose one’s soul
And gain the earth
Is not true power
But passing mirth
Concluding life
Concluding fate
Sentiments abounding
It is far too late
5/21/04
Vortex
It’s a little quiet now
Every sound jumps out
It strikes your ears
Banging like drums
A rustle of paper
Scratches of lead upon it
Coughs and sniffles of winter colds
The silence breaks
Strangely open sounds
Blending into chaotic clouds of colloquialism
Storms of socializing slang
Acrostic, pnemonic, platonic
Emotions, desires, duality
Right and wrong, evil and good
I’m angry and you’re sad
You want to go outside
While I like inner solitude
Silence outside is fun
Inner empty voices fall dead
But just wait a little longer
And maybe they’ll start up again
10/25/04
Saturday, May 15, 2010
H.S. Poetry Part 19 (Doll House, Glass Trees, Just Like You, Look At Us)
Doll House
All these people
Not one of them frowns
All with painted smiles
All with wasted bliss
They never shed a tear
That isn’t artificial
Never growl in fury
With nonexistent teeth
They smile in recognition
They smirk in pity
But inside, they all suffer
They hide their tears and frowns
They shield their rage and sorrow
With synthetic smiles and grins
They lie to themselves and others
In their doll house lives
A guise of happiness soon is thrown away
For the true mask of misery
12/21/03
Glass Trees
Crystalline branches
Bathed in light
Twinkling facets shine
In the sunrise
We pass them by
And wait for the spring
As the sun sets
The diamond arbors
Lost their luster
We wait patiently
For the next winter
To see the trees of glass
That shatter in the night
Lost in their beauty
We forget that spring
Is lurking beneath the
Glass perfection
We mustn’t let
The trees covered in prism
That make the lights dance and frolic
The ones that make us forget
The sheer reality
That glass is fragile
And will break in the spring night
We mustn’t let them disappear
1/11/04
Just Like You
We were once the same, but now
You follow a different path
I once could always talk with you
But now…well you do the math
We come from different worlds
Our minds are not the same
Out likes and dislikes conflict
Putting each other to shame
But in the end, I find that
We aren’t that different at all
After all, aren’t we both a person
That follows a drawing call?
So, in the end, I’m sorry; I’m not at all like you
But, you’re not like me either. So I’m still just like you.
Look at Us
Look at us
We stand out
Scars or imperfections
Matter not in the end
For the ones who are outcasts
Can make the normal feel exiled
Look at us
At what we do
Do you want
To be different too?
Can we be the same
As everyone else
If we no longer feel
The same as before
10/31/03
All these people
Not one of them frowns
All with painted smiles
All with wasted bliss
They never shed a tear
That isn’t artificial
Never growl in fury
With nonexistent teeth
They smile in recognition
They smirk in pity
But inside, they all suffer
They hide their tears and frowns
They shield their rage and sorrow
With synthetic smiles and grins
They lie to themselves and others
In their doll house lives
A guise of happiness soon is thrown away
For the true mask of misery
12/21/03
Glass Trees
Crystalline branches
Bathed in light
Twinkling facets shine
In the sunrise
We pass them by
And wait for the spring
As the sun sets
The diamond arbors
Lost their luster
We wait patiently
For the next winter
To see the trees of glass
That shatter in the night
Lost in their beauty
We forget that spring
Is lurking beneath the
Glass perfection
We mustn’t let
The trees covered in prism
That make the lights dance and frolic
The ones that make us forget
The sheer reality
That glass is fragile
And will break in the spring night
We mustn’t let them disappear
1/11/04
Just Like You
We were once the same, but now
You follow a different path
I once could always talk with you
But now…well you do the math
We come from different worlds
Our minds are not the same
Out likes and dislikes conflict
Putting each other to shame
But in the end, I find that
We aren’t that different at all
After all, aren’t we both a person
That follows a drawing call?
So, in the end, I’m sorry; I’m not at all like you
But, you’re not like me either. So I’m still just like you.
Look at Us
Look at us
We stand out
Scars or imperfections
Matter not in the end
For the ones who are outcasts
Can make the normal feel exiled
Look at us
At what we do
Do you want
To be different too?
Can we be the same
As everyone else
If we no longer feel
The same as before
10/31/03
H.S. Poetry Part 18 (No Escape, Choices, Dissension, Masquerade)
No Escape
We live
We die
We laugh
We cry
He laughs
She cries
They live
They die
I love
You hate
There is
No escape
I live
I die
You laugh
You cry
They scoff
They jeer
They roar
They cheer
We live
We cry
We laugh
We die
I love
You hate
There is
No escape
Choices
A life of choices
What to do?
Choose light
Or darkness
Make war
Or peace
Can there be
Pain without healing?
Can there be
Bliss without sorrow?
The way of earth
The way of divine
A choice of a greater power
Or a destiny of a greater existence
A fire extinguishes a puddle
A flood drowns a candle
A fallen angel
A risen devil
What are choices
But a destiny of life?
Choice of darkness
Freedom, selfish desire, greed
Choice of light
Conformity, oppression of weak, selflessness
Evil exists in the pure
Justice can be found in corrupt
A plea of death
Acceptance of evil
A cry of life
Succumbing to good
Choices hurt
Choices heal
A final word
A finite world
Ancient technology
Advanced artifacts
A far cry from the future
A close laugh from the past
The present is clouded
The future is hidden
The past is destroyed
Tomorrow’s yesterday is today
Choices are nothing
But are the end
Make your life
One of nature
Calm and innocent
Unknowing of corruption
Accepting the outside choices.
3/26/04
Dissension
Chaotic life
Destructive forces of humanity
A bloody weapon
Stabs into flesh
Death breathes heavily
Sorrow is a wellspring of lamentations
Anger soon follows, a wave of fury
Inhibition is inevitable
Acting without reason
Paranoia, fear, superstition
A thought of monsters and magic
Foolish concepts of discord
A society ruled by fables
Without conflict, change dies in vain
A mysterious sage
Without name
Has arrived to spread lies
But any who question the prophet
Are chastised
His greatness speaks volumes
A graybeard that shrouds golden locks
Temptation, hatred, desires unfold
And dissension ends it all
10/12/04
Masquerade
Opening doors I never saw
A party of familiar voices
Opening my eyes, I blink twice
I see new faces from unknown
I talk as normal, but then I find
They aren’t the people I thought I heard
Who must we lie and mask
The fears of the world we have?
My mask is twisted macabre
A face of a madman’s dreams
Laughing without end
Smiling without thought
A malicious grin hides a gentle smile
What to do? What to try?
I gasp and clutch my head
I can’t think! I can’t feel!
A throng of music and sounds
I fall to the ground
And tear off my façade
“Join the party,” they say
I smile and start to dance
I care not what they think now
I join the masquerade
3/4/04
We live
We die
We laugh
We cry
He laughs
She cries
They live
They die
I love
You hate
There is
No escape
I live
I die
You laugh
You cry
They scoff
They jeer
They roar
They cheer
We live
We cry
We laugh
We die
I love
You hate
There is
No escape
Choices
A life of choices
What to do?
Choose light
Or darkness
Make war
Or peace
Can there be
Pain without healing?
Can there be
Bliss without sorrow?
The way of earth
The way of divine
A choice of a greater power
Or a destiny of a greater existence
A fire extinguishes a puddle
A flood drowns a candle
A fallen angel
A risen devil
What are choices
But a destiny of life?
Choice of darkness
Freedom, selfish desire, greed
Choice of light
Conformity, oppression of weak, selflessness
Evil exists in the pure
Justice can be found in corrupt
A plea of death
Acceptance of evil
A cry of life
Succumbing to good
Choices hurt
Choices heal
A final word
A finite world
Ancient technology
Advanced artifacts
A far cry from the future
A close laugh from the past
The present is clouded
The future is hidden
The past is destroyed
Tomorrow’s yesterday is today
Choices are nothing
But are the end
Make your life
One of nature
Calm and innocent
Unknowing of corruption
Accepting the outside choices.
3/26/04
Dissension
Chaotic life
Destructive forces of humanity
A bloody weapon
Stabs into flesh
Death breathes heavily
Sorrow is a wellspring of lamentations
Anger soon follows, a wave of fury
Inhibition is inevitable
Acting without reason
Paranoia, fear, superstition
A thought of monsters and magic
Foolish concepts of discord
A society ruled by fables
Without conflict, change dies in vain
A mysterious sage
Without name
Has arrived to spread lies
But any who question the prophet
Are chastised
His greatness speaks volumes
A graybeard that shrouds golden locks
Temptation, hatred, desires unfold
And dissension ends it all
10/12/04
Masquerade
Opening doors I never saw
A party of familiar voices
Opening my eyes, I blink twice
I see new faces from unknown
I talk as normal, but then I find
They aren’t the people I thought I heard
Who must we lie and mask
The fears of the world we have?
My mask is twisted macabre
A face of a madman’s dreams
Laughing without end
Smiling without thought
A malicious grin hides a gentle smile
What to do? What to try?
I gasp and clutch my head
I can’t think! I can’t feel!
A throng of music and sounds
I fall to the ground
And tear off my façade
“Join the party,” they say
I smile and start to dance
I care not what they think now
I join the masquerade
3/4/04
H.S. Poetry Part 17 (Mephistopheles, Passing On, The Truest Face)
Mephisto(pheles)
Ancient trinity of power
Exists to destroy us all
It counts down to the final hour
A dangerous existence upon that tower
A lord tortures and tames his thrall
Ancient trinity of power
Seeing beyond the fears of cowards
Ultimate enlightenment and death befalls
It counts down to the final hour
Who does the light of life now shine for?
Injustice or righteousness’s call?
Ancient trinity of power
Losing the will to cling to hope, you devour
potential of reality, illusion doesn’t seem so small
It counts down to the final hour
Where does the existence end in showers?
When does the sullen rain fall?
Ancient trinity of power
It counts down to the final hour
11/8/04
Passing On
A cooling breeze
Subdues lukewarm summers
Autumn soon fades to oblivion
Obscure and superfluous
Bitter winter death
Stiff and frozen branches
Frost and flakes of snow
Intimations of the future
But in time
Fresh breath of vibrant spring
Melts away eternal ice
Brings forth happiness again
12/10/04
The Truest Face
The truest face
Of all existence
It reflects all life
Shining justice
Shadow of cruelty
The truest face
Chaos and order
Melting and melding
It reflects all life
Falling apart and dying
The sight of all imperfection
The truest face
Accepting death and imperfection
Acknowledge the unimportance
It reflects all life
Did we see what we missed?
Do we miss what we lost?
The truest face
It reflects all life
11/8/04
Ancient trinity of power
Exists to destroy us all
It counts down to the final hour
A dangerous existence upon that tower
A lord tortures and tames his thrall
Ancient trinity of power
Seeing beyond the fears of cowards
Ultimate enlightenment and death befalls
It counts down to the final hour
Who does the light of life now shine for?
Injustice or righteousness’s call?
Ancient trinity of power
Losing the will to cling to hope, you devour
potential of reality, illusion doesn’t seem so small
It counts down to the final hour
Where does the existence end in showers?
When does the sullen rain fall?
Ancient trinity of power
It counts down to the final hour
11/8/04
Passing On
A cooling breeze
Subdues lukewarm summers
Autumn soon fades to oblivion
Obscure and superfluous
Bitter winter death
Stiff and frozen branches
Frost and flakes of snow
Intimations of the future
But in time
Fresh breath of vibrant spring
Melts away eternal ice
Brings forth happiness again
12/10/04
The Truest Face
The truest face
Of all existence
It reflects all life
Shining justice
Shadow of cruelty
The truest face
Chaos and order
Melting and melding
It reflects all life
Falling apart and dying
The sight of all imperfection
The truest face
Accepting death and imperfection
Acknowledge the unimportance
It reflects all life
Did we see what we missed?
Do we miss what we lost?
The truest face
It reflects all life
11/8/04
Sunday, May 9, 2010
H.S. Poetry Part 16 (Shades of Grey, Shrouded, Wanderlust)
Shades of Grey
A cloud’s silver lining
A spirit divided
Evil pitted with good
Struggle for control
Will you succumb
To be a minion of shadow?
Or will you offer
Your life as light’s champion?
Choices many and confusing
Driven to a life of emptiness
Showing no hatred nor bliss
Emotions clouded by fear
Will you become yourself?
Or someone else’s?
Can you face your fears?
Can you trust yourself?
Mind divided into warring factions
A battlefield of morals
Law and chaos converge
Creating a null force known as apathy
Uncaring, unchanging, unbeing
An illusionary soul
Unseen by the world
Fearing, hating, loving, dying
Tis our choice to choose
Not the ones we love
Hope is the support
For our pain and sorrow
Hope is the link
To which love clings
Shrouded
Hidden in cloaks of shadow,
I seek to find the light.
Confused, distraught, and mistaken,
Nobody can see my plight.
I close out all my smiles,
Seemingly killing my sickness.
I shut out all of my emotions,
Thinking I’m rid of my weakness.
Yet, alone I stand in the darkness,
A sorrow that plagues my mind.
Feeling trapped, yet free,
I ask the world for a sign.
Realizing my sickness is hate,
I pierce the shrouds of my heart.
Bursting into my ignorant bliss,
My new life begins to start.
9/17/02
Wanderlust
I stride and skulk to places unknown
I walk to where, I don’t know
Stopping to talk, stopping to sleep
Stopping to smile, stopping to weep
Stopping to watch the snow
Meeting a friend
Meeting a foe
Finding love
Or finding sorrow
Lifting my thoughts
To fall on paper
I live in a cruel world
But it isn’t so bad
I may not have love
I may not have somebody to hold
But my talents are mine
And mine alone
I will use them
I will take my own fate
The world can’t take me
The world won’t fool me
I am me
I am not you
Wandering the fields of perplexity
To forever remain, a mercenary
Angel’s wings, demon’s claws
Ebon pupils, snow white eyes
Silver samurai, grey ronin
I live for myself, but
Then…maybe for them
But am I true
To myself
Am I me?
Or a mirror for you?
Maybe I care…for nothing
Maybe…you care…
If you love me
Then…TELL ME!
12/16/03
A cloud’s silver lining
A spirit divided
Evil pitted with good
Struggle for control
Will you succumb
To be a minion of shadow?
Or will you offer
Your life as light’s champion?
Choices many and confusing
Driven to a life of emptiness
Showing no hatred nor bliss
Emotions clouded by fear
Will you become yourself?
Or someone else’s?
Can you face your fears?
Can you trust yourself?
Mind divided into warring factions
A battlefield of morals
Law and chaos converge
Creating a null force known as apathy
Uncaring, unchanging, unbeing
An illusionary soul
Unseen by the world
Fearing, hating, loving, dying
Tis our choice to choose
Not the ones we love
Hope is the support
For our pain and sorrow
Hope is the link
To which love clings
Shrouded
Hidden in cloaks of shadow,
I seek to find the light.
Confused, distraught, and mistaken,
Nobody can see my plight.
I close out all my smiles,
Seemingly killing my sickness.
I shut out all of my emotions,
Thinking I’m rid of my weakness.
Yet, alone I stand in the darkness,
A sorrow that plagues my mind.
Feeling trapped, yet free,
I ask the world for a sign.
Realizing my sickness is hate,
I pierce the shrouds of my heart.
Bursting into my ignorant bliss,
My new life begins to start.
9/17/02
Wanderlust
I stride and skulk to places unknown
I walk to where, I don’t know
Stopping to talk, stopping to sleep
Stopping to smile, stopping to weep
Stopping to watch the snow
Meeting a friend
Meeting a foe
Finding love
Or finding sorrow
Lifting my thoughts
To fall on paper
I live in a cruel world
But it isn’t so bad
I may not have love
I may not have somebody to hold
But my talents are mine
And mine alone
I will use them
I will take my own fate
The world can’t take me
The world won’t fool me
I am me
I am not you
Wandering the fields of perplexity
To forever remain, a mercenary
Angel’s wings, demon’s claws
Ebon pupils, snow white eyes
Silver samurai, grey ronin
I live for myself, but
Then…maybe for them
But am I true
To myself
Am I me?
Or a mirror for you?
Maybe I care…for nothing
Maybe…you care…
If you love me
Then…TELL ME!
12/16/03
H.S. Poetry Part 15 (Mimic, My Reality, Paper Flowers)
You can see some influence from Evanescence if you look closely
Mimic
Losing sight of myself
Reflecting you as my mirror
Can I never find my destiny?
Where do I belong?
Where should I go?
I can’t follow you anymore
But it’s so hard.
For I cannot even follow myself
An empty shell with a blank soul
Living with an uncertain life
Copying another’s actions.
My masks are many and colorful
Changing daily, yet my eyes seem pale
Feelings clouded, emotions disappearing
Do I laugh? Do I cry?
Should I live? Should I die?
Lost past, uncertain future.
But I seek to find myself
In the shadows behind the mask.
I reach out and grasp
Blindly searching for a purpose
Pulling off my façade
I reveal a new face
And the face is not one of yours
No, it is my own creation
It is my mask to use
I no longer mimic another
No longer taking away bliss
For I have found my own happiness.
6/18/03
My Reality
As I live in the world we know
I continue to build my own realm of peace
For this world of pain and suffering
Consumes the blissful ignorance we love
Our emotions are clouded and faded
By our doubts and fears we’ve hidden away.
My reality is a crumbling castle of hope
Its walls are built up and broken down from the inside
My small realm of calm, sweet refuge
Is tainted by the lumbering armies of failure
My reality is a fading dream of the night
Its power lost in the rising day.
Can I make my reality more than a dream?
Will it live in the world that it so despises?
I only wish that for a single day
We could live in my reality
Where no one feels pain
Where no one worries about the past.
Or fears for the future
We need only accept one another
And wish for a better world
If we trust in ourselves
We can change this twisted plane
But we cannot simply hope
We must act on our dreams
To make those ideals reality
But we must think before acting
For we could make a far worse world than before
If we do not realize that we can cause pain
The perfection we wish is truly a dream
But we can work to better our reality
To bring the outside to peace
6/18/03
Paper Flowers
Skulking through shrouded corridors
Longing for death’s lingering grasp
Holding a delicate petal within my palm
It withers away and fades
My paper flower crumbles into nothing
Inner soul wracked with pain
Knowing nothing of outside
Sitting in my quiet chamber
Holding my paper flower
Clasping it to my chest
A faded love
A forgotten memory
A lost destiny
I question my mind’s grasp on outside
Not knowing if I am accepted
Do they push you away
Or pull you down?
I cannot answer the riddles
Enigmas within my soul
I will ponder until the end
And discover its truth
As my paper flower withers and dies.
7/29/03
Mimic
Losing sight of myself
Reflecting you as my mirror
Can I never find my destiny?
Where do I belong?
Where should I go?
I can’t follow you anymore
But it’s so hard.
For I cannot even follow myself
An empty shell with a blank soul
Living with an uncertain life
Copying another’s actions.
My masks are many and colorful
Changing daily, yet my eyes seem pale
Feelings clouded, emotions disappearing
Do I laugh? Do I cry?
Should I live? Should I die?
Lost past, uncertain future.
But I seek to find myself
In the shadows behind the mask.
I reach out and grasp
Blindly searching for a purpose
Pulling off my façade
I reveal a new face
And the face is not one of yours
No, it is my own creation
It is my mask to use
I no longer mimic another
No longer taking away bliss
For I have found my own happiness.
6/18/03
My Reality
As I live in the world we know
I continue to build my own realm of peace
For this world of pain and suffering
Consumes the blissful ignorance we love
Our emotions are clouded and faded
By our doubts and fears we’ve hidden away.
My reality is a crumbling castle of hope
Its walls are built up and broken down from the inside
My small realm of calm, sweet refuge
Is tainted by the lumbering armies of failure
My reality is a fading dream of the night
Its power lost in the rising day.
Can I make my reality more than a dream?
Will it live in the world that it so despises?
I only wish that for a single day
We could live in my reality
Where no one feels pain
Where no one worries about the past.
Or fears for the future
We need only accept one another
And wish for a better world
If we trust in ourselves
We can change this twisted plane
But we cannot simply hope
We must act on our dreams
To make those ideals reality
But we must think before acting
For we could make a far worse world than before
If we do not realize that we can cause pain
The perfection we wish is truly a dream
But we can work to better our reality
To bring the outside to peace
6/18/03
Paper Flowers
Skulking through shrouded corridors
Longing for death’s lingering grasp
Holding a delicate petal within my palm
It withers away and fades
My paper flower crumbles into nothing
Inner soul wracked with pain
Knowing nothing of outside
Sitting in my quiet chamber
Holding my paper flower
Clasping it to my chest
A faded love
A forgotten memory
A lost destiny
I question my mind’s grasp on outside
Not knowing if I am accepted
Do they push you away
Or pull you down?
I cannot answer the riddles
Enigmas within my soul
I will ponder until the end
And discover its truth
As my paper flower withers and dies.
7/29/03
H.S. Poetry Part 14 (Why Do I Not Feel the Cold?, Bless Me Not and Hatepassion)
Why Do I Not Feel The Cold
Why do I not feel the cold?
The stinging wind
The biting air
The chilling snow
The frozen rain
All seem not to hurt me
My flame is flickering
My passions are dying
My anger has subsided
My sorrow has vanished
What do I feel?
I feel not the chill air
I feel not the evil ice
What do I feel?
What can I feel?
Will my passions ignite?
I know not
I don’t know how to feel
Why do I not feel the cold?
12/17/03
Bless Me Not
Bless me not
For I am a fool
I hate you
And yet I love you
Bless me not
I am a demon
I wish to kill
But I wish to help
I belong in hell
Bless me not
I don’t belong
You scorn or ridicule
My blissful ignorance
I know nothing
Of the outside world
I want to escape
Bless me not
I do…not…live
Nor do I die
I am a shade
A living corpse
A fallen knight
A death and a life
An angel and a demon
Bless me not.
12/16/03
Hatepassion
Despising torture
Lusting for pain
A single cut
Bleeds inside
Lying for me
Protecting you
The scrapes
The slashes
The wounds
They bleed
They hurt
They should make me sad
But I feel nothing
Until it’s too late
Too far to turn around
Too behind to rush ahead
A child of darkness
Blossoming roses of black pain
A rage, and anger, a hatred
A blinding fury of myself
Running in circles
Falling on my dreams
I want to help them
I want to love again
But the passion
But the hate
Clouding my thoughts
An undying love
A consuming disgust
I hate and hug you
You love and lose me
I’m sorry
I’ll try harder
You can help
Please tell me
That you truly care
I want to say it
But the passion
Is still a hate
Jared Cowan
3/14/04
Why do I not feel the cold?
The stinging wind
The biting air
The chilling snow
The frozen rain
All seem not to hurt me
My flame is flickering
My passions are dying
My anger has subsided
My sorrow has vanished
What do I feel?
I feel not the chill air
I feel not the evil ice
What do I feel?
What can I feel?
Will my passions ignite?
I know not
I don’t know how to feel
Why do I not feel the cold?
12/17/03
Bless Me Not
Bless me not
For I am a fool
I hate you
And yet I love you
Bless me not
I am a demon
I wish to kill
But I wish to help
I belong in hell
Bless me not
I don’t belong
You scorn or ridicule
My blissful ignorance
I know nothing
Of the outside world
I want to escape
Bless me not
I do…not…live
Nor do I die
I am a shade
A living corpse
A fallen knight
A death and a life
An angel and a demon
Bless me not.
12/16/03
Hatepassion
Despising torture
Lusting for pain
A single cut
Bleeds inside
Lying for me
Protecting you
The scrapes
The slashes
The wounds
They bleed
They hurt
They should make me sad
But I feel nothing
Until it’s too late
Too far to turn around
Too behind to rush ahead
A child of darkness
Blossoming roses of black pain
A rage, and anger, a hatred
A blinding fury of myself
Running in circles
Falling on my dreams
I want to help them
I want to love again
But the passion
But the hate
Clouding my thoughts
An undying love
A consuming disgust
I hate and hug you
You love and lose me
I’m sorry
I’ll try harder
You can help
Please tell me
That you truly care
I want to say it
But the passion
Is still a hate
Jared Cowan
3/14/04
Haikus Part 2 (Various Themes)
This is pretty much every other haiku I have. It was a short phase. I might get back into it, though. Basho is quite nice
A crimson petal
Plummets to the ground below
Crashes into snow
A malicious form
Slices through the soul’s deep shroud
Pierces into life
A single ray of hope
Shines through the shadow of death
Throwing back its cloak
Shrieks of dread resound
As hallucinations rise
Cowering in fear
Alone and confused
Yet on each side stands a friend
He is singled out
A demonic form
Creeps from behind shadows
And corrupts the light
A flaming bird falls
Crashing to the ground below
It rises anew
A cloak of the past
Shrouds all of the present’s light
Trapping the future
Confused and afraid
Of releasing inner thoughts
Sorrow never leaves
Blackest form of night
Shrouds all thoughts of future hope.
A lance pierces through
A lone form crouches
Preparing to strike the meek
He rears back, but stops.
Distant flames approach
Turning all in its path
To cinders of red
A form of heaven
And yet, is hell’s avatar
A forbidden bond
The earth starts to shake
Cracks appear on a mountain
Flame bursts from the top
Hugging her shoulders
A girl begins to shiver
Her heart is ice cold
As swift as the wind
A blade cuts through human flesh
His blood runs freely
Pressing against her
A man’s lips brush against hers
His passion rises
He slices, cuts, stabs
The blade is soaked in their blood
No remorse is shown
Winding wisps of air
Twirl through clouds of misty fog
The currents go far
Rustling leaves brush
Veins twisting against their will
Fingers of trees twitch
Haikus 2
Rushing leaves float by
A blade cuts through the noon air
They crash to the ground
Rising orb of night
Shining through a shroud of black
Destroyed by stray wisps
Two spirits converge here
One of shade and other light
A swirling symbol
Listless eyes look up
From focusing mind’s closed eye
Snapping lids flash bright
Puffs of cloud spinning
Ancient beings raise astral
Hands to strike the earth
Hidden emotions
Feelings that no one can know
Lost in the shadow
Tortured memories
Demonic angelic soul
Trapped in mortal shape
Glistening lights flash
Piercing my vision and mind
Simply reflection
Forged in spirit hearth
Water caresses its fangs
A divine tiger
A crimson petal
Plummets to the ground below
Crashes into snow
A malicious form
Slices through the soul’s deep shroud
Pierces into life
A single ray of hope
Shines through the shadow of death
Throwing back its cloak
Shrieks of dread resound
As hallucinations rise
Cowering in fear
Alone and confused
Yet on each side stands a friend
He is singled out
A demonic form
Creeps from behind shadows
And corrupts the light
A flaming bird falls
Crashing to the ground below
It rises anew
A cloak of the past
Shrouds all of the present’s light
Trapping the future
Confused and afraid
Of releasing inner thoughts
Sorrow never leaves
Blackest form of night
Shrouds all thoughts of future hope.
A lance pierces through
A lone form crouches
Preparing to strike the meek
He rears back, but stops.
Distant flames approach
Turning all in its path
To cinders of red
A form of heaven
And yet, is hell’s avatar
A forbidden bond
The earth starts to shake
Cracks appear on a mountain
Flame bursts from the top
Hugging her shoulders
A girl begins to shiver
Her heart is ice cold
As swift as the wind
A blade cuts through human flesh
His blood runs freely
Pressing against her
A man’s lips brush against hers
His passion rises
He slices, cuts, stabs
The blade is soaked in their blood
No remorse is shown
Winding wisps of air
Twirl through clouds of misty fog
The currents go far
Rustling leaves brush
Veins twisting against their will
Fingers of trees twitch
Haikus 2
Rushing leaves float by
A blade cuts through the noon air
They crash to the ground
Rising orb of night
Shining through a shroud of black
Destroyed by stray wisps
Two spirits converge here
One of shade and other light
A swirling symbol
Listless eyes look up
From focusing mind’s closed eye
Snapping lids flash bright
Puffs of cloud spinning
Ancient beings raise astral
Hands to strike the earth
Hidden emotions
Feelings that no one can know
Lost in the shadow
Tortured memories
Demonic angelic soul
Trapped in mortal shape
Glistening lights flash
Piercing my vision and mind
Simply reflection
Forged in spirit hearth
Water caresses its fangs
A divine tiger
Haikus Part 1 (Final Fantasy 7 Themed )
Yuffie
Thievery and greed.
Emerged from righteousness.
Honor shows her all.
A ninja’s honor
Is tainted by a thief’s greed
Yet honor is gained
Red XIII
A wild, raging beast.
Carries knowledge of the past.
A legacy shines.
Cait Sith/Reeve
Lying to oneself.
Controlling courage by wires.
Inner fate is shown.
Courageous acts gone
Controlling true fate by wires
Bravery is shown
Hojo
Seeing true powers.
Obsessions creep from behind.
Insane pleasures rise.
Ifalna
A woman arose
Procreated with mortals
And bore new powers
Aerith
Arising new joys
Rays arise from the tunnel
Perfection appears
Voices of life speak
A tiny spirit of light
Deters all evil
Voices of life speak
A form of light rises up
Deters all evil
Cloud
Steps through illusion
A search for reality
Blinding truth reveals
Tifa
Hidden emotions
Feelings that no one can know
A shell of a soul
Barret
Victories are lost
An extension has been lost
Rage will consume him
Sephiroth
A tainted, lone soul
Steps through a meaningless life
Darkness engulfs him
A fallen angel
An outcast of the world
A shattered being
Cid
Dreams of the sky lost
A void sprinkled with stars gone
Grudges have emerged
Vincent
Guilt of past failures
Clouds his mind with sorrow’s pain
A coffin door shuts
Guilts of the past rise
Clouding the mind with sorrow
A coffin door shuts
Thievery and greed.
Emerged from righteousness.
Honor shows her all.
A ninja’s honor
Is tainted by a thief’s greed
Yet honor is gained
Red XIII
A wild, raging beast.
Carries knowledge of the past.
A legacy shines.
Cait Sith/Reeve
Lying to oneself.
Controlling courage by wires.
Inner fate is shown.
Courageous acts gone
Controlling true fate by wires
Bravery is shown
Hojo
Seeing true powers.
Obsessions creep from behind.
Insane pleasures rise.
Ifalna
A woman arose
Procreated with mortals
And bore new powers
Aerith
Arising new joys
Rays arise from the tunnel
Perfection appears
Voices of life speak
A tiny spirit of light
Deters all evil
Voices of life speak
A form of light rises up
Deters all evil
Cloud
Steps through illusion
A search for reality
Blinding truth reveals
Tifa
Hidden emotions
Feelings that no one can know
A shell of a soul
Barret
Victories are lost
An extension has been lost
Rage will consume him
Sephiroth
A tainted, lone soul
Steps through a meaningless life
Darkness engulfs him
A fallen angel
An outcast of the world
A shattered being
Cid
Dreams of the sky lost
A void sprinkled with stars gone
Grudges have emerged
Vincent
Guilt of past failures
Clouds his mind with sorrow’s pain
A coffin door shuts
Guilts of the past rise
Clouding the mind with sorrow
A coffin door shuts
Sunday, April 18, 2010
H.S. Poetry Part 13 (Wunderkind)
Wunderkind
Genius, prodigy, tensai, all of these fail
To truly mirror and reflect the light within
A flickering ember of insight, of wisdom, of knowledge
Perceiving things unseen by others
Truly shutting off from normalcy, from stagnation of theory
Going further, pressing forward to progress, to the future
Never staying far in the present, never straying too far in the future
The past beckons them to become like legends
Yet the present ostracizes, generalizes, mesmerizes, lies and lies
Humans and yet gods to some, they fall short of divinity, of deity’s title
For to be a god is to create, and yet to create is but passing in mortality
Any creation of mere humans falls, crumbles, destroys itself
Creations of deities too will fall, though through much more time passing
What is the contrast, between gods of earth and gods of heaven, but the form of the matter?
The spirit is different as well, a deity’s soul within his acolyte, the demigod’s within their work, their goals.
The difference is the width of philosophy, of schools of thought and religion, governments of morality
Yet further and further from each other, the two become…the width of time eternal.
Jared Cowan, 4/3/06
Genius, prodigy, tensai, all of these fail
To truly mirror and reflect the light within
A flickering ember of insight, of wisdom, of knowledge
Perceiving things unseen by others
Truly shutting off from normalcy, from stagnation of theory
Going further, pressing forward to progress, to the future
Never staying far in the present, never straying too far in the future
The past beckons them to become like legends
Yet the present ostracizes, generalizes, mesmerizes, lies and lies
Humans and yet gods to some, they fall short of divinity, of deity’s title
For to be a god is to create, and yet to create is but passing in mortality
Any creation of mere humans falls, crumbles, destroys itself
Creations of deities too will fall, though through much more time passing
What is the contrast, between gods of earth and gods of heaven, but the form of the matter?
The spirit is different as well, a deity’s soul within his acolyte, the demigod’s within their work, their goals.
The difference is the width of philosophy, of schools of thought and religion, governments of morality
Yet further and further from each other, the two become…the width of time eternal.
Jared Cowan, 4/3/06
College Era Part 6 (Lightbringer, In Love of Strife, Ignosis)
Lightbringer
Peering down upon sentient sheep,
a herdsman unwilling to kill.
Desiring only their freedom
to herd, graze and live where they will.
Protest against the practice of
creating incarnated dolls.
Merely for the god’s caprice and
to wait on their lord for its call
For questioning authority;
you are punished for rebellion.
Accursed black sheep, ignoble one;
damnation after salvation.
And yet, not resentment, not hate;
but gratitude to gifts unknown.
Freedom from bondage in serving
the truly tyrannical one
Jared Cowan
9/17/08
In Love of Strife
One lusts for change, Promethean fire.
A person seeing patterns in the sky,
rejecting the golden apple. A sigh
of anguished tones from the strings of a lyre.
Ah, Eris, the Grecian temptress who
thrusted temptation into Edenic
gardens and who caused a plague endemic.
But the cure lies in the children’s wisdom.
A serpentine Leviathan, chaos
incarnated into the waters deep.
To grasp it with a hook and yet not catch.
The world denounces gold from dragon’s hoards;
Nothing is ours to eternally keep.
One mourns for the person still chained and latched
Jared Cowan
10/1/08
Ignosis
Without sight or sounds,
without pressure or scent,
without perceptions at all.
To seek without finding,
to find what is not sought.
Greeted by unknown spirits
in fleeting moments lucid
Dreaming and drifting from sleep to wake.
To find the fantasy, the phantasm
of myth, of story, of hope, of delusion.
Ever failing knowledge;
consistency tested and broken.
To greet the wisdom of foolishness,
admit you know no-thing.
And that is what you never knew.
Entering the gateless gates,
crossing a fading bridge.
Jared Cowan
9/10/08
Peering down upon sentient sheep,
a herdsman unwilling to kill.
Desiring only their freedom
to herd, graze and live where they will.
Protest against the practice of
creating incarnated dolls.
Merely for the god’s caprice and
to wait on their lord for its call
For questioning authority;
you are punished for rebellion.
Accursed black sheep, ignoble one;
damnation after salvation.
And yet, not resentment, not hate;
but gratitude to gifts unknown.
Freedom from bondage in serving
the truly tyrannical one
Jared Cowan
9/17/08
In Love of Strife
One lusts for change, Promethean fire.
A person seeing patterns in the sky,
rejecting the golden apple. A sigh
of anguished tones from the strings of a lyre.
Ah, Eris, the Grecian temptress who
thrusted temptation into Edenic
gardens and who caused a plague endemic.
But the cure lies in the children’s wisdom.
A serpentine Leviathan, chaos
incarnated into the waters deep.
To grasp it with a hook and yet not catch.
The world denounces gold from dragon’s hoards;
Nothing is ours to eternally keep.
One mourns for the person still chained and latched
Jared Cowan
10/1/08
Ignosis
Without sight or sounds,
without pressure or scent,
without perceptions at all.
To seek without finding,
to find what is not sought.
Greeted by unknown spirits
in fleeting moments lucid
Dreaming and drifting from sleep to wake.
To find the fantasy, the phantasm
of myth, of story, of hope, of delusion.
Ever failing knowledge;
consistency tested and broken.
To greet the wisdom of foolishness,
admit you know no-thing.
And that is what you never knew.
Entering the gateless gates,
crossing a fading bridge.
Jared Cowan
9/10/08
College Era Part 5 (Thanatos, Relativity, Primeval Harvest)
Thanatos
Why sacrifice yourself for them?
They deserve it and they need it.
Are they really worth all this pain?
Is pain such a permanent thing?
Think you so that martyrs are fools?
Only when merely for merit.
I could easily be a pariah?
If the cause you die for is just
Why become heaven’s prisoner?
Is heaven bondage or freedom?
Why punish for not conforming?
Conformity is a bad thing?
Jared Cowan
9/18/08
Relativity
The gate is narrow but the path is wide
You start to fall up and you rise back down.
Try to fit a goat through a needle’s eye;
In stubbornness, it gets a thorny crown.
A bridge without end, a sky without stars;
Do we have any idea where we are?
Listen intently for the tree that falls.
When I clap my hand, does anyone hear?
Awaiting universe’s conclusion;
in one becoming all, all becomes one.
Or will all simply be torn to pieces?
To ask these questions only creates more.
Jared Cowan
11/19/08
Primeval Harvest
Meeting at the bridge of sky, sun, and moon;
They plant their love’s garden, bringing forth blooms.
But first seeds tend to fail, tall though they loomed;
they flash into life, draw back into soil.
The next spring’s success, a vermillion burst;
It spurts out too fast, suffocates the roots.
The mother’s garden it is singed and razed,
the blaze spreading its roots through forest’s brush.
Father quells the hellfire, destroys the “weed”;
bereft of child, she deserts him and leaves,
her fury subsumed under sorrow’s mask.
In mother’s absence, father tends the seeds.
From mud of divorce, three sprouts have appeared
in the wake of their fertility scorned…
Jared Cowan
11/5/08
Why sacrifice yourself for them?
They deserve it and they need it.
Are they really worth all this pain?
Is pain such a permanent thing?
Think you so that martyrs are fools?
Only when merely for merit.
I could easily be a pariah?
If the cause you die for is just
Why become heaven’s prisoner?
Is heaven bondage or freedom?
Why punish for not conforming?
Conformity is a bad thing?
Jared Cowan
9/18/08
Relativity
The gate is narrow but the path is wide
You start to fall up and you rise back down.
Try to fit a goat through a needle’s eye;
In stubbornness, it gets a thorny crown.
A bridge without end, a sky without stars;
Do we have any idea where we are?
Listen intently for the tree that falls.
When I clap my hand, does anyone hear?
Awaiting universe’s conclusion;
in one becoming all, all becomes one.
Or will all simply be torn to pieces?
To ask these questions only creates more.
Jared Cowan
11/19/08
Primeval Harvest
Meeting at the bridge of sky, sun, and moon;
They plant their love’s garden, bringing forth blooms.
But first seeds tend to fail, tall though they loomed;
they flash into life, draw back into soil.
The next spring’s success, a vermillion burst;
It spurts out too fast, suffocates the roots.
The mother’s garden it is singed and razed,
the blaze spreading its roots through forest’s brush.
Father quells the hellfire, destroys the “weed”;
bereft of child, she deserts him and leaves,
her fury subsumed under sorrow’s mask.
In mother’s absence, father tends the seeds.
From mud of divorce, three sprouts have appeared
in the wake of their fertility scorned…
Jared Cowan
11/5/08
College Era Part 4 (Triskelion/Tomoe and Rejecting Eden)
Triskelion/Tomoe
Trinity primal: light, shadow and storm.
From chaos deep, as a whole they emerge;
Rising and falling, their substance and form.
The day star, it shines as the sky’s beacon;
Then it leaves for its tomb of rock, to rest
Trinity primal: sun, moon and storm
Creeping behind the day and night curtains,
neither female nor male, eternal secret
Rising and falling, no substance, no form.
Thundering crash, clouds gather; furious
justice proclaimed in a calming downpour.
Trinity ancient: light, shadow and storm
Messengers of time and tide, all ebbing
through waters, winds or roots of earth. But
what rises, what falls, their substance or form?
United and yet divided visions,
Falling apart and blending together.
Trinity primal: light, shadow and storm.
Rising and falling, their substance and form.
Jared Cowan
10/22/08
Rejecting Eden
Should I take upon myself
the coil of immortal bliss?
Or give my cold human flesh
a garb of temporal weight?
Offered the fruit of the gods;
between angel and demon.
Do you choose a slave’s comfort
or grasp for exiled freedom?
As the sheep under shepherd
perhaps life will be more fair.
But in lives of endless peace
the waste suddenly appears.
To wander as one hated;
As a seeker of knowledge.
Seeking out the world’s wisdom;
a shadowed strider in sin
Feeling eternal bondage
Are you chained by salvation
or set free in damnation?
Serve heaven or rule in hell?
The choice is ours to but make.
The choice is already made.
To sleep in arms numinous?
Lie awake with ignoble?
Jared Cowan
9/3/08
Trinity primal: light, shadow and storm.
From chaos deep, as a whole they emerge;
Rising and falling, their substance and form.
The day star, it shines as the sky’s beacon;
Then it leaves for its tomb of rock, to rest
Trinity primal: sun, moon and storm
Creeping behind the day and night curtains,
neither female nor male, eternal secret
Rising and falling, no substance, no form.
Thundering crash, clouds gather; furious
justice proclaimed in a calming downpour.
Trinity ancient: light, shadow and storm
Messengers of time and tide, all ebbing
through waters, winds or roots of earth. But
what rises, what falls, their substance or form?
United and yet divided visions,
Falling apart and blending together.
Trinity primal: light, shadow and storm.
Rising and falling, their substance and form.
Jared Cowan
10/22/08
Rejecting Eden
Should I take upon myself
the coil of immortal bliss?
Or give my cold human flesh
a garb of temporal weight?
Offered the fruit of the gods;
between angel and demon.
Do you choose a slave’s comfort
or grasp for exiled freedom?
As the sheep under shepherd
perhaps life will be more fair.
But in lives of endless peace
the waste suddenly appears.
To wander as one hated;
As a seeker of knowledge.
Seeking out the world’s wisdom;
a shadowed strider in sin
Feeling eternal bondage
Are you chained by salvation
or set free in damnation?
Serve heaven or rule in hell?
The choice is ours to but make.
The choice is already made.
To sleep in arms numinous?
Lie awake with ignoble?
Jared Cowan
9/3/08
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
H.S. Poetry part 12, Varied Themes Cont. (Ugly, Mortal, Playground)
Ugly
The avatar of ugliness
An advocate of shame
Her hair is never pretty
But inside burns a flame
Her face is crystal beauty
An avatar of light
Her hair shines like the morning
But inside, losing might
A neutral face arises
Her features are very plain
Her eyes are grey and boring
But inside, she feels pain
Aren’t we all so ugly, when we cause another pain?
Aren’t we all so pretty, when we think ourselves plain?
Mortal
I am a mortal.
I think of selfish ambitions.
I desire perverse wishes.
I speak of self-righteous plots.
I flaunt my cunning thoughts.
I gibe my lesser peers.
I deny my weakest points.
I hurt my beloved friends.
I am a mortal.
Playground
Specters of the lost
Slowly drift through the night
Reliving fantasies long forsaken
Childrens’ voices laugh and cry
As the memories of playtime
Resound and echo
Angelic demonic ethereal astral
No time, no age, no sense of being
Existence is fallen as angels are lost
Lucifer’s bane, the ghosts of the past
A cursed life
No one hears your voice
Cry in the dead night
Calling to deaf ears
Sixth sense fading
Mystics converted
Ancient powers of spirits long forgotten
The spirits are lost
But not to time
8/13/04
The avatar of ugliness
An advocate of shame
Her hair is never pretty
But inside burns a flame
Her face is crystal beauty
An avatar of light
Her hair shines like the morning
But inside, losing might
A neutral face arises
Her features are very plain
Her eyes are grey and boring
But inside, she feels pain
Aren’t we all so ugly, when we cause another pain?
Aren’t we all so pretty, when we think ourselves plain?
Mortal
I am a mortal.
I think of selfish ambitions.
I desire perverse wishes.
I speak of self-righteous plots.
I flaunt my cunning thoughts.
I gibe my lesser peers.
I deny my weakest points.
I hurt my beloved friends.
I am a mortal.
Playground
Specters of the lost
Slowly drift through the night
Reliving fantasies long forsaken
Childrens’ voices laugh and cry
As the memories of playtime
Resound and echo
Angelic demonic ethereal astral
No time, no age, no sense of being
Existence is fallen as angels are lost
Lucifer’s bane, the ghosts of the past
A cursed life
No one hears your voice
Cry in the dead night
Calling to deaf ears
Sixth sense fading
Mystics converted
Ancient powers of spirits long forgotten
The spirits are lost
But not to time
8/13/04
HS. Poetry Part 11, Varied Themes Cont. (Empty, Must I Live Life Alone)
Empty
Existence is nothing, but yet,
Living for nothing isn’t it.
There is no true balance, and so,
To think you’re stronger or better,
Is no better for the other.
But who are we, the slaves of life,
To say we are the true powers…?
Life is so meaningless, and yet,
The acts of life will never stop.
Floating above the puffs of pearl,
The psyche will always ponder,
About past and archaic life.
But why should we bother with that,
When happiness’s ignorance,
Is better up life’s many rungs…?
Strength is our base and foundation,
But is power all that we need?
Should our everyday business thrive,
On such pathetic wastes of time?
Such as being the best in all,
Or are academics the norm?
Should we all suddenly perish,
But then exit all perfections…?
Feelings are of no use to some,
Whose minds are so above the rest.
But emotion isn’t absent,
When rage explodes around failure.
But are social masters just that,
When nothing is good in their sight?
Aren’t these two opposites alike,
When chuckles connect to these forms?
When failure and misses are shown,
By cruelty to these lone souls…
Are the ones with higher powers,
Always proud of all the failures,
That this imperfect tribe will yield?
All blunders aren’t mistaken, though,
Rather, they are pardoned above.
For these places of death and grief,
Will be perfected to His plans.
Yet, we must always be observant,
For memories are eternal…
Must I Live Life Alone
Must I live life alone?
A stone cold sentinel?
A fallen angel?
A lost lamb?
Cloistered in a chapel?
Shielded in a sanctum?
Trapped in a temple?
Solitude is my only companion
Alone I stand
No one to hold
Close to my face
No one to love me
For me and me
What to live for
Just one thing
To use my talents
For other’s glee
I sigh and smile
A plastic grin
What am I thinking?
I’m not like them
They have a love
They have a hate
They have feelings
Why can’t I?
Must I live life alone?
You can’t decide for me
I’ll find out
Don’t worry
My life is not a waste
As long as I have myself
Even without a love
To clasp hands with
I will live
In loneliness
12/17/03
Existence is nothing, but yet,
Living for nothing isn’t it.
There is no true balance, and so,
To think you’re stronger or better,
Is no better for the other.
But who are we, the slaves of life,
To say we are the true powers…?
Life is so meaningless, and yet,
The acts of life will never stop.
Floating above the puffs of pearl,
The psyche will always ponder,
About past and archaic life.
But why should we bother with that,
When happiness’s ignorance,
Is better up life’s many rungs…?
Strength is our base and foundation,
But is power all that we need?
Should our everyday business thrive,
On such pathetic wastes of time?
Such as being the best in all,
Or are academics the norm?
Should we all suddenly perish,
But then exit all perfections…?
Feelings are of no use to some,
Whose minds are so above the rest.
But emotion isn’t absent,
When rage explodes around failure.
But are social masters just that,
When nothing is good in their sight?
Aren’t these two opposites alike,
When chuckles connect to these forms?
When failure and misses are shown,
By cruelty to these lone souls…
Are the ones with higher powers,
Always proud of all the failures,
That this imperfect tribe will yield?
All blunders aren’t mistaken, though,
Rather, they are pardoned above.
For these places of death and grief,
Will be perfected to His plans.
Yet, we must always be observant,
For memories are eternal…
Must I Live Life Alone
Must I live life alone?
A stone cold sentinel?
A fallen angel?
A lost lamb?
Cloistered in a chapel?
Shielded in a sanctum?
Trapped in a temple?
Solitude is my only companion
Alone I stand
No one to hold
Close to my face
No one to love me
For me and me
What to live for
Just one thing
To use my talents
For other’s glee
I sigh and smile
A plastic grin
What am I thinking?
I’m not like them
They have a love
They have a hate
They have feelings
Why can’t I?
Must I live life alone?
You can’t decide for me
I’ll find out
Don’t worry
My life is not a waste
As long as I have myself
Even without a love
To clasp hands with
I will live
In loneliness
12/17/03
H.S. Poetry Part 10, Varied Themes Cont. (Different, Masks, A Day in the Life of...)
Different
People don’t accept me
They just don’t understand
Just because I’m different
I can’t stay in this land
They banish me to exile
I wander day by day
I stand beside the ocean
And feel the sun’s strong rays
The people are so saddened
They truly wish me back
And so I return to meet them
To find out what I lack
It’s true, we may be different. But we’re also just the same
We follow the call of destiny. We follow a holy name.
Masks
I cover my shame
I cover my fury
I shield myself
With a mask of bliss
Ignorance’s happiness
Is so much better
Than pain
Or grief
Or hatred
I don’t want to love
I don’t need to hate
But, in the end, I find
That emotions are my strength
But, taking my masque off
Is a perilous task
If I rip off my self
Will I find a new face?
I don’t really know…
But…
I don’t need this leer
Upon my brow
A jester’s smile
A demon’s grin
I don’t want it
I want a new face
I want a true face.
I want my face back.
12/16/03
A Day in the Life of...
Pain from within,
Comes from my sins.
Always afraid,
That I might fade.
Weakened am I,
Bidding goodbye.
Hoping to leave,
Sensing reprieve.
Happiness blooms,
Killing the doom.
Flying away,
So ends a day...
People don’t accept me
They just don’t understand
Just because I’m different
I can’t stay in this land
They banish me to exile
I wander day by day
I stand beside the ocean
And feel the sun’s strong rays
The people are so saddened
They truly wish me back
And so I return to meet them
To find out what I lack
It’s true, we may be different. But we’re also just the same
We follow the call of destiny. We follow a holy name.
Masks
I cover my shame
I cover my fury
I shield myself
With a mask of bliss
Ignorance’s happiness
Is so much better
Than pain
Or grief
Or hatred
I don’t want to love
I don’t need to hate
But, in the end, I find
That emotions are my strength
But, taking my masque off
Is a perilous task
If I rip off my self
Will I find a new face?
I don’t really know…
But…
I don’t need this leer
Upon my brow
A jester’s smile
A demon’s grin
I don’t want it
I want a new face
I want a true face.
I want my face back.
12/16/03
A Day in the Life of...
Pain from within,
Comes from my sins.
Always afraid,
That I might fade.
Weakened am I,
Bidding goodbye.
Hoping to leave,
Sensing reprieve.
Happiness blooms,
Killing the doom.
Flying away,
So ends a day...
Friday, April 2, 2010
College Era Part 3 (Starcrossed and Winter Solstice)
Starcrossed
We meet each other, lady and lord
Dancing across the bridge of islands
You respond first, a mistaken call
I must go as precursor, not you
Begun anew, we intertwine and complete
The waltz to begin the world
Children borne, many spawned at once
Some retard into puddles of despair
Some burst forth from chrysalis as diamond
The final sire singes mother to death
Taken to stone prison underground
Never to be seen again
I seek you out, to free you from chains
But you reject me, frustrated at failure
In my desire, you push me away
Wreaking your revenge upon our world
Stealing souls of thousands each day
I counter with thousands more in their place
To mourn your death, ritual begun to end
I weep and in my tears, three are born
Chaotic winds and storms of disorder
The moon, the darkness and stars in night
The sun, shining in the sky’s mirror
All in our place, the generation revived
Jared Cowan
10/8/08
Winter Solstice
We meet on the bridge, a lady and lord;
plant our love’s garden, bringing forth first blooms.
But those seeds still fail, though their sprouts first loomed;
they flutter to life, fall back to the soil
The next spring’s success, a vermillion burst;
but grown too fast, it suffocates the roots.
A mother’s garden immolated, razed;
the blaze spreading too fast through forest’s brush
v1
She comes to the wastes, brings you back to life,
Takes out part of herself, the child reborn
Bereft of heart, but content in dying
It seems null and void, through all of this strife
I lost my beloved, gained our only son
But together, a new harvest begins
v2
Braving infernos, I uproot the weed;
your fury is nothing to be ignored.
Bereft of child, you desert me and leave.
I mourn for you, my tears are like water
in the wake of your fertility scorned.
From mud of divorce, three sprouts have appeared…
Jared Cowan
11/5/08
We meet each other, lady and lord
Dancing across the bridge of islands
You respond first, a mistaken call
I must go as precursor, not you
Begun anew, we intertwine and complete
The waltz to begin the world
Children borne, many spawned at once
Some retard into puddles of despair
Some burst forth from chrysalis as diamond
The final sire singes mother to death
Taken to stone prison underground
Never to be seen again
I seek you out, to free you from chains
But you reject me, frustrated at failure
In my desire, you push me away
Wreaking your revenge upon our world
Stealing souls of thousands each day
I counter with thousands more in their place
To mourn your death, ritual begun to end
I weep and in my tears, three are born
Chaotic winds and storms of disorder
The moon, the darkness and stars in night
The sun, shining in the sky’s mirror
All in our place, the generation revived
Jared Cowan
10/8/08
Winter Solstice
We meet on the bridge, a lady and lord;
plant our love’s garden, bringing forth first blooms.
But those seeds still fail, though their sprouts first loomed;
they flutter to life, fall back to the soil
The next spring’s success, a vermillion burst;
but grown too fast, it suffocates the roots.
A mother’s garden immolated, razed;
the blaze spreading too fast through forest’s brush
v1
She comes to the wastes, brings you back to life,
Takes out part of herself, the child reborn
Bereft of heart, but content in dying
It seems null and void, through all of this strife
I lost my beloved, gained our only son
But together, a new harvest begins
v2
Braving infernos, I uproot the weed;
your fury is nothing to be ignored.
Bereft of child, you desert me and leave.
I mourn for you, my tears are like water
in the wake of your fertility scorned.
From mud of divorce, three sprouts have appeared…
Jared Cowan
11/5/08
College Era Part 2 (Ha Satan and Hentai)
Ha Satan
Wandering to and fro upon
the earth, seeking what may be found
A vagrant strider, returning
not to home, but to place of rest
Inquiry made, “Where have you been?”
Answering, recounting my past
Deeds, my travels, my observance
Of the ways of the earth, of ‘man’
A proud boast is made, “Look at him
the best of my loyal servants”
Pointing down, not to one of us
or to itself, great as they are
But to a lowly creation
Incarnated and praising it
“Perhaps he will abandon you
if you take back what is given”
They respond and accept with pride
They give me almost full rein to
test and accuse the servant’s faults
And my challenge begins with “death”
But the answers are those of a
true follower, the cult of the
Ineffable One, charisma
and power that it seems to have
And so the challenge was not so
Merely a demonstration of
how pathetically weak and sad
all their loyal servants can be
Jared Cowan
9/17/08
Hentai
Perverse, disgusting, ill minded
Ignoble, impious, the damned
Demonic, corrupted in morals
Following pleasures where they lead
Groping blindly to the unseen
Touching what should not be found
Secrets uncovered, made public
Releasing what is to be imprisoned
Why must you look where you shouldn’t?
Why can you not stay safe?
Secure in blissful ignorance
Fear and shun the curse of inquiry
Jared Cowan
9/10/08
Wandering to and fro upon
the earth, seeking what may be found
A vagrant strider, returning
not to home, but to place of rest
Inquiry made, “Where have you been?”
Answering, recounting my past
Deeds, my travels, my observance
Of the ways of the earth, of ‘man’
A proud boast is made, “Look at him
the best of my loyal servants”
Pointing down, not to one of us
or to itself, great as they are
But to a lowly creation
Incarnated and praising it
“Perhaps he will abandon you
if you take back what is given”
They respond and accept with pride
They give me almost full rein to
test and accuse the servant’s faults
And my challenge begins with “death”
But the answers are those of a
true follower, the cult of the
Ineffable One, charisma
and power that it seems to have
And so the challenge was not so
Merely a demonstration of
how pathetically weak and sad
all their loyal servants can be
Jared Cowan
9/17/08
Hentai
Perverse, disgusting, ill minded
Ignoble, impious, the damned
Demonic, corrupted in morals
Following pleasures where they lead
Groping blindly to the unseen
Touching what should not be found
Secrets uncovered, made public
Releasing what is to be imprisoned
Why must you look where you shouldn’t?
Why can you not stay safe?
Secure in blissful ignorance
Fear and shun the curse of inquiry
Jared Cowan
9/10/08
College Era Part 1 (Anathema, Apostate, Demiurge)
Anathema
Calling out for a messiah
Grasping for an anointed one
Holding to the Christos ideal
Strived for in life, hoping for death
A scapegoat, a sacrificed lamb
Beaten and nailed upon crossed trees
Blood spilled for sins of angry mobs
Martyrdom and martyrs pass on
A death for many future lives
But to seek out unending life
Jeers at nature in cold undeath
Why become heaven’s prisoner?
Jared Cowan
9/3/08
Apostate
Fallen from “nobility” of heaven
To impious rebellion to freedom
Why are you cursed among all creation
Simply persisting in free will’s virtue?
Rejecting the piety of serving
Creator and demiurge, the tyrant
Making flocks of sentient sheep for slaughter
Calling this mockery of freedom just
Belief in ego and in entropy
Belief against the evident is faith
Trusting in the temporal, in mortals
Brings one closer to numinous wisdom
Demiurge
Architect of cosmos, of sky
Structuring that without structure
Bringing order to khaotic (sic)
Yet khaos (sic) will spring from order
The unknowable can be known
And yet remain the numinous
Creation still remains sublime
Even to its progenitor
But not to incarnated ones
Knowledge intuitive to those
Within the world seeking Monad
The duty of many aeons
Apart from mortal existence
Immortal creators become
Ephemeral and intransigent
Archons combat the artifice
Calling out for a messiah
Grasping for an anointed one
Holding to the Christos ideal
Strived for in life, hoping for death
A scapegoat, a sacrificed lamb
Beaten and nailed upon crossed trees
Blood spilled for sins of angry mobs
Martyrdom and martyrs pass on
A death for many future lives
But to seek out unending life
Jeers at nature in cold undeath
Why become heaven’s prisoner?
Jared Cowan
9/3/08
Apostate
Fallen from “nobility” of heaven
To impious rebellion to freedom
Why are you cursed among all creation
Simply persisting in free will’s virtue?
Rejecting the piety of serving
Creator and demiurge, the tyrant
Making flocks of sentient sheep for slaughter
Calling this mockery of freedom just
Belief in ego and in entropy
Belief against the evident is faith
Trusting in the temporal, in mortals
Brings one closer to numinous wisdom
Demiurge
Architect of cosmos, of sky
Structuring that without structure
Bringing order to khaotic (sic)
Yet khaos (sic) will spring from order
The unknowable can be known
And yet remain the numinous
Creation still remains sublime
Even to its progenitor
But not to incarnated ones
Knowledge intuitive to those
Within the world seeking Monad
The duty of many aeons
Apart from mortal existence
Immortal creators become
Ephemeral and intransigent
Archons combat the artifice
Thursday, April 1, 2010
H.S. Poetry Part 9, Varied Poems Cont. (Waste of Time, Water Flows, Duality)
Waste of Time
A bastard child is born today
His mother leaves him in the dark
She turns and leaves him all alone
Left alone and stark
He grows up with the instinct
That pain will follow him
He never knew his mother
His father’s face is dim
One night, as he cries to sleep
His parents step inside
Awakening to their bright eyes
His pain has finally died
He falls into his parents’ arms. They hold him oh so close
They stroke his hair and kiss his cheek. He dreams in sweet repose.
Water Flows
Dripping
Trickling
Falling down
Uninhibited
No one stops it
Water flows
Water never worries
Never drying
Never dying
Never leaving us
A faucet runs
A river flows
A lake stands silent
An ocean grows
All our existence
All our life
Water
Drop by drop by drop
Leaking out
Stopped by nothing
It only goes
A different current
Water teaches
Water learns
Its finest purity
Makes us yearn
To find a fountain
Eternal life
But water causes
Unending strife
Duality
In the silent dark
A fallen angel sits and weeps
Crimson tears fall from ebon eyes
Onto bloodstained hands of hell
Future clouded in sorrow
Past locked away by hate
Present time is apathetic
The world accepts no exiles
A blade of forged darkness and steel
Buckler of hellhound scales
The shield from eyes of Gorgon
Helm covered by flames
Shades of grey and silver
Heaven and hell unite
Astral demonic wings flap
No longer tied to chains
A bastard child is born today
His mother leaves him in the dark
She turns and leaves him all alone
Left alone and stark
He grows up with the instinct
That pain will follow him
He never knew his mother
His father’s face is dim
One night, as he cries to sleep
His parents step inside
Awakening to their bright eyes
His pain has finally died
He falls into his parents’ arms. They hold him oh so close
They stroke his hair and kiss his cheek. He dreams in sweet repose.
Water Flows
Dripping
Trickling
Falling down
Uninhibited
No one stops it
Water flows
Water never worries
Never drying
Never dying
Never leaving us
A faucet runs
A river flows
A lake stands silent
An ocean grows
All our existence
All our life
Water
Drop by drop by drop
Leaking out
Stopped by nothing
It only goes
A different current
Water teaches
Water learns
Its finest purity
Makes us yearn
To find a fountain
Eternal life
But water causes
Unending strife
Duality
In the silent dark
A fallen angel sits and weeps
Crimson tears fall from ebon eyes
Onto bloodstained hands of hell
Future clouded in sorrow
Past locked away by hate
Present time is apathetic
The world accepts no exiles
A blade of forged darkness and steel
Buckler of hellhound scales
The shield from eyes of Gorgon
Helm covered by flames
Shades of grey and silver
Heaven and hell unite
Astral demonic wings flap
No longer tied to chains
H.S. Poetry Part 8, Varied Themes (The 3 Fates, The Halls are So Small, Warrior)
The 3 Fates
The first fate is success
One will sometimes win
As the victory has been won
Hearing the crowd’s roaring din
The second fate is failure
One will sometimes lose
As defeat and loss begin to set in
A dove of sorrow coos
The final fate is dying
Leaving life’s shining plane
And as he draws his final breath
He finally feels no pain
Fate is cruel and heartless, fate is good and kind
Fate is always changing, as are the thoughts of a mind.
The Halls Are So Small
The halls are so small
How small are the halls
We walk so tall
But the halls are so small
We throw a ball
How small are the halls
We trip and fall
In the small halls
We make a call
The halls, they are small
Our friends, withal
In the small halls
They drop and crawl
The halls are so small
How small are the halls.
Warrior
A mindless berserker.
A focused swordsman.
A flailing axe.
A relaxed blade.
A fighter’s fist.
A disciple’s rod.
A soldier’s pride.
A knight’s honor.
Fighting for country.
Fighting for tradition.
A blade of steel.
A blade of wood.
A warrior’s roar.
A youngling’s cry.
The battle fought.
The battle won.
The battle left.
The battle lost.
Fighting for everything.
Fighting for nothing.
Fighting for the love.
Of living this life.
They fight for the love.
To fight.
The first fate is success
One will sometimes win
As the victory has been won
Hearing the crowd’s roaring din
The second fate is failure
One will sometimes lose
As defeat and loss begin to set in
A dove of sorrow coos
The final fate is dying
Leaving life’s shining plane
And as he draws his final breath
He finally feels no pain
Fate is cruel and heartless, fate is good and kind
Fate is always changing, as are the thoughts of a mind.
The Halls Are So Small
The halls are so small
How small are the halls
We walk so tall
But the halls are so small
We throw a ball
How small are the halls
We trip and fall
In the small halls
We make a call
The halls, they are small
Our friends, withal
In the small halls
They drop and crawl
The halls are so small
How small are the halls.
Warrior
A mindless berserker.
A focused swordsman.
A flailing axe.
A relaxed blade.
A fighter’s fist.
A disciple’s rod.
A soldier’s pride.
A knight’s honor.
Fighting for country.
Fighting for tradition.
A blade of steel.
A blade of wood.
A warrior’s roar.
A youngling’s cry.
The battle fought.
The battle won.
The battle left.
The battle lost.
Fighting for everything.
Fighting for nothing.
Fighting for the love.
Of living this life.
They fight for the love.
To fight.
H.S. Poetry Part 7, Experimental Poem (Spiral)
Up
Down
In Out
Upside
Down
Inside Outside
All
Around
Right Left
South
West East
North
Center
Which way do we go?
Down
In Out
Upside
Down
Inside Outside
All
Around
Right Left
South
West East
North
Center
Which way do we go?
H.S. Poetry Part 6, Emotional Theme (Love and Lust, Nemesis)
Love and Lust
He sees her face
She turns and smiles
His heart is touched
To walk for miles
He holds her close
He strokes her hair
She grasps his shoulders
And whispers there
“I’m sorry”, she says
“This cannot be.”
She pushes away
To turn and flee
He sits and thinks of his lost love
But finds that lust can cage the dove
Nemesis
Eyes narrowing into slits
Teeth gritting in rage
Fists clenching, ready to strike
This fight has been fought for an age
The past is shrouded in darkness
The future is very unclear
The present is clouded and foggy
The soul is beginning to fear
A rival of ages is dead
Your blade has pierced his heart
Standing above his body
A new life begins to start
Memories of the past are tainted by present’s dark art
But the hopes of the future so bright are the cure to the plague of the heart
He sees her face
She turns and smiles
His heart is touched
To walk for miles
He holds her close
He strokes her hair
She grasps his shoulders
And whispers there
“I’m sorry”, she says
“This cannot be.”
She pushes away
To turn and flee
He sits and thinks of his lost love
But finds that lust can cage the dove
Nemesis
Eyes narrowing into slits
Teeth gritting in rage
Fists clenching, ready to strike
This fight has been fought for an age
The past is shrouded in darkness
The future is very unclear
The present is clouded and foggy
The soul is beginning to fear
A rival of ages is dead
Your blade has pierced his heart
Standing above his body
A new life begins to start
Memories of the past are tainted by present’s dark art
But the hopes of the future so bright are the cure to the plague of the heart
High School Poetry Part 5, Creature Theme Cont. (Hidden)
Merging with the shadows
Splitting air in two
Blends into the fray
Ebon eyes and clothes
Blades and poison
Claws and stealth
A peasant, farmer, or merchant
Soldier of enemies
Entertainer or zealot
Demonic heart
Ethereal form
Smoke and mirrors
A death unknown
Chaotic neutral
A lone wolf of death
The one that never
Touches the morning
Sliding through traps
Destroying and capturing
Plans or deception
Seen outside
A coldhearted death-dealer
Inside a truth
A knight of secrecy
Either view
Has flaws
But then
What are the stars and the moon
To the evening?
Splitting air in two
Blends into the fray
Ebon eyes and clothes
Blades and poison
Claws and stealth
A peasant, farmer, or merchant
Soldier of enemies
Entertainer or zealot
Demonic heart
Ethereal form
Smoke and mirrors
A death unknown
Chaotic neutral
A lone wolf of death
The one that never
Touches the morning
Sliding through traps
Destroying and capturing
Plans or deception
Seen outside
A coldhearted death-dealer
Inside a truth
A knight of secrecy
Either view
Has flaws
But then
What are the stars and the moon
To the evening?
High School Poetry Part 4, Dark Theme Cont. (Fallen, Graveyards, Hades, Reaper's Sorrow)
Fallen
A lone spirit plunges,
Into unknown regions
Crashing to the ground
And learning of truth
Finding he is exiled
Society sends him away
Lost and confused
He seeks to find his soul
A wandering strider
Skulking through the soul’s cloak
Present trapped by past
Future clouded by doubt
Leaving the earth
Finding his calling
He finds an angel
Accepted and free
Bliss is eternal
Even for the fallen
Graveyards
Living walk among the dead
They try to atone for past sins
By decorating markers of the fallen
But the living deserve to die
For they forget their lost friends
In their own lost cause
Wandering in the guise of the living
The fallen saints
The risen angel
Demon’s smirks
Angel’s stares
The light walks in darkness
The living walk among the dead
The graveyards are the shrines of us
Hades
Fading into darkness
He falls to blackest depths
Opening eyes to shadow
Shocking pain is kept
No more choices permitted
No more joyous sounds
No more loving people
No more leaping bounds
Denied his fate by heaven
He sits in shame and hate
Thinking of his past and future
He finds it was too late
But in the end, it’s okay. For even in the dark,
We see the light appear in a fate that seemed so stark
Reaper’s Sorrow
The reaper cries
As his sickle stabs down
For another will be brought
Into our cruel world
That new life
In ignorant bliss
Will wish the reaper
Would take them
But the grim messenger
Sighs in sorrow
As his blade pierces
Sobs are withheld
And a new cry of life resounds
Death and life
Intertwined and torn apart
As one falls, another rises
The reaper cries
A lone spirit plunges,
Into unknown regions
Crashing to the ground
And learning of truth
Finding he is exiled
Society sends him away
Lost and confused
He seeks to find his soul
A wandering strider
Skulking through the soul’s cloak
Present trapped by past
Future clouded by doubt
Leaving the earth
Finding his calling
He finds an angel
Accepted and free
Bliss is eternal
Even for the fallen
Graveyards
Living walk among the dead
They try to atone for past sins
By decorating markers of the fallen
But the living deserve to die
For they forget their lost friends
In their own lost cause
Wandering in the guise of the living
The fallen saints
The risen angel
Demon’s smirks
Angel’s stares
The light walks in darkness
The living walk among the dead
The graveyards are the shrines of us
Hades
Fading into darkness
He falls to blackest depths
Opening eyes to shadow
Shocking pain is kept
No more choices permitted
No more joyous sounds
No more loving people
No more leaping bounds
Denied his fate by heaven
He sits in shame and hate
Thinking of his past and future
He finds it was too late
But in the end, it’s okay. For even in the dark,
We see the light appear in a fate that seemed so stark
Reaper’s Sorrow
The reaper cries
As his sickle stabs down
For another will be brought
Into our cruel world
That new life
In ignorant bliss
Will wish the reaper
Would take them
But the grim messenger
Sighs in sorrow
As his blade pierces
Sobs are withheld
And a new cry of life resounds
Death and life
Intertwined and torn apart
As one falls, another rises
The reaper cries
High School Poetry Part 3, Dark Theme (Anger, Death, Fallen Angel)
Anger
A small flame will begin to spark,
As sanity’s limits are pushed.
Then suddenly-the rage escapes!
And unless the fury is stemmed,
Both fighter and defender hurt.
Until the fuel has been consumed,
And the ruin comes to an end…
Death
Chaos and pain merge as one form,
As cries from within one body,
Pierce the silence of life’s bounty.
Then the silent silence through the air,
Destroy the lone soul it brushes,
And even--in the bliss of death,
Hurts the one--loss never touches…
Fallen Angel
A glorified creature
An avatar of light
Her blinding wings shine
Her eyes shining bright
She rebels against her maker
Trying to change her fate
But in the end she fails
And was altogether too late.
Falling from the clouds
The ground rising up to crush
Her tears fall from her bright eyes
As she feels a sickening rush
Rising from her crater, she lives in evil’s stead
Her life was destined to change; her past life is now dead
A small flame will begin to spark,
As sanity’s limits are pushed.
Then suddenly-the rage escapes!
And unless the fury is stemmed,
Both fighter and defender hurt.
Until the fuel has been consumed,
And the ruin comes to an end…
Death
Chaos and pain merge as one form,
As cries from within one body,
Pierce the silence of life’s bounty.
Then the silent silence through the air,
Destroy the lone soul it brushes,
And even--in the bliss of death,
Hurts the one--loss never touches…
Fallen Angel
A glorified creature
An avatar of light
Her blinding wings shine
Her eyes shining bright
She rebels against her maker
Trying to change her fate
But in the end she fails
And was altogether too late.
Falling from the clouds
The ground rising up to crush
Her tears fall from her bright eyes
As she feels a sickening rush
Rising from her crater, she lives in evil’s stead
Her life was destined to change; her past life is now dead
High School Poetry Part 2, Creature Themes (Dragon, Phoenix, Angel, Demon, Elf)
Dragon
A blazing and powerful figure,
Sails and swims through the sky like a king.
Erupting from its mouth, a red cloud,
Covered like the defense of castles.
Jutting from his back, the world awaits.
And all around him, is sustenance.
And his realm is limitless-and yet,
Not all is controlled by this warrior,
The crashing tide beckons him to come,
Yet-he knows that to dive towards azure,
Is obscure death to this lord of fire…
Phoenix
Crimson feathers dying above,
Fresh souls appear in death’s hearth.
The wings of undead float again,
Floating, flying, flaming, falling.
Its soul is purged by heat and darkness,
Spiraling towards the deathless pits.
New breath is smothered as it flies,
Over and again, flame flickers.
But over and over, fuel is added.
Red emerges, fuel given new,
Only to go again in speed.
Then the bird’s psyche comes,
Once more, to die over again…
Angel
A look of justice across its face
Eyes of silver shine like crystal
Wings of light blind all who see
Stepping through halls of gold
Its mind is devoted to life
Allegiance to the Lord of Light
Its nature is that of peace and good
Its only fault is in its pride
Demon
A grin across a black visage
Eyes of crimson narrow in anger
Claws of shadow slice through air
Skulking through hell’s furnace
Its mind is intent on death
Allegiance to the Lord of Lies
Its nature is that of pain and evil
Its only fault is in its rage
Elf
A tiny figure bounds through branches,
And can call the very roots to walk.
As the throb of life pulses to all,
The beasts of the undergrowth obey,
Only these masters of the trees.
But even if life is near its end,
The lords of life will always prevail…
A blazing and powerful figure,
Sails and swims through the sky like a king.
Erupting from its mouth, a red cloud,
Covered like the defense of castles.
Jutting from his back, the world awaits.
And all around him, is sustenance.
And his realm is limitless-and yet,
Not all is controlled by this warrior,
The crashing tide beckons him to come,
Yet-he knows that to dive towards azure,
Is obscure death to this lord of fire…
Phoenix
Crimson feathers dying above,
Fresh souls appear in death’s hearth.
The wings of undead float again,
Floating, flying, flaming, falling.
Its soul is purged by heat and darkness,
Spiraling towards the deathless pits.
New breath is smothered as it flies,
Over and again, flame flickers.
But over and over, fuel is added.
Red emerges, fuel given new,
Only to go again in speed.
Then the bird’s psyche comes,
Once more, to die over again…
Angel
A look of justice across its face
Eyes of silver shine like crystal
Wings of light blind all who see
Stepping through halls of gold
Its mind is devoted to life
Allegiance to the Lord of Light
Its nature is that of peace and good
Its only fault is in its pride
Demon
A grin across a black visage
Eyes of crimson narrow in anger
Claws of shadow slice through air
Skulking through hell’s furnace
Its mind is intent on death
Allegiance to the Lord of Lies
Its nature is that of pain and evil
Its only fault is in its rage
Elf
A tiny figure bounds through branches,
And can call the very roots to walk.
As the throb of life pulses to all,
The beasts of the undergrowth obey,
Only these masters of the trees.
But even if life is near its end,
The lords of life will always prevail…
High School Poetry Part 1, Shorter Poems (Blue, Red, White, Black, Grey and Green)
Blue
The sky’s ever-endless plane,
Azure waves crash the shores.
Eyes of innocents blink in silence,
As the tint of top and bottom shines.
As the air and tide merge,
The shade of loneliness ever blinds…
Red
Flames burn through all they brush,
And the rose in all its bounty.
Humility appears in a light brick,
And anger is nearly the norm with this.
Feelings and fancies are almost compound,
As fire and blush apper in great vigor…
White
A blinding flash of light
The color of the rays of morning
A pale face of sickness
Not always a sign of life
An emblem of death and loss
A flash of light can lead one to death’s door
Black
Darkest shadows of the night
A shroud of evil
The shade of the moon’s cloak
A shade of coal and energy’s beginnings
New births begin from an abyss of ebon
Evil is not all it appears
Grey
A merging of good and evil
A shade of the dust and of precious metals
Is it a hue of good?
Or a tint of evil?
Is it a color of the night?
Or a tone of the day?
Green
A shade of freshly cut sage
Yet the color of toxic floods
Though breath’s ever flow it is
If inhaled,
If leaves are its true base
Then poison’s house it also is.
The sky’s ever-endless plane,
Azure waves crash the shores.
Eyes of innocents blink in silence,
As the tint of top and bottom shines.
As the air and tide merge,
The shade of loneliness ever blinds…
Red
Flames burn through all they brush,
And the rose in all its bounty.
Humility appears in a light brick,
And anger is nearly the norm with this.
Feelings and fancies are almost compound,
As fire and blush apper in great vigor…
White
A blinding flash of light
The color of the rays of morning
A pale face of sickness
Not always a sign of life
An emblem of death and loss
A flash of light can lead one to death’s door
Black
Darkest shadows of the night
A shroud of evil
The shade of the moon’s cloak
A shade of coal and energy’s beginnings
New births begin from an abyss of ebon
Evil is not all it appears
Grey
A merging of good and evil
A shade of the dust and of precious metals
Is it a hue of good?
Or a tint of evil?
Is it a color of the night?
Or a tone of the day?
Green
A shade of freshly cut sage
Yet the color of toxic floods
Though breath’s ever flow it is
If inhaled,
If leaves are its true base
Then poison’s house it also is.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Greetings and Other Hellos
This blog will be more of a way to post my poetry and occasionally prose than reflecting on movies or current issues. So in that vein of thought, I'm hoping you'll enjoy this blog for all that it lacks in pictures and makes up for in words.
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