H.S. Poetry Part 16 (Shades of Grey, Shrouded, Wanderlust)

Shades of Grey

A cloud’s silver lining
A spirit divided
Evil pitted with good
Struggle for control
Will you succumb
To be a minion of shadow?
Or will you offer
Your life as light’s champion?
Choices many and confusing
Driven to a life of emptiness
Showing no hatred nor bliss
Emotions clouded by fear
Will you become yourself?
Or someone else’s?
Can you face your fears?
Can you trust yourself?
Mind divided into warring factions
A battlefield of morals
Law and chaos converge
Creating a null force known as apathy
Uncaring, unchanging, unbeing
An illusionary soul
Unseen by the world
Fearing, hating, loving, dying
Tis our choice to choose
Not the ones we love
Hope is the support
For our pain and sorrow
Hope is the link
To which love clings



Shrouded


Hidden in cloaks of shadow,
I seek to find the light.
Confused, distraught, and mistaken,
Nobody can see my plight.

I close out all my smiles,
Seemingly killing my sickness.
I shut out all of my emotions,
Thinking I’m rid of my weakness.

Yet, alone I stand in the darkness,
A sorrow that plagues my mind.
Feeling trapped, yet free,
I ask the world for a sign.

Realizing my sickness is hate,
I pierce the shrouds of my heart.
Bursting into my ignorant bliss,
My new life begins to start.

9/17/02




Wanderlust

I stride and skulk to places unknown
I walk to where, I don’t know
Stopping to talk, stopping to sleep
Stopping to smile, stopping to weep
Stopping to watch the snow
Meeting a friend
Meeting a foe
Finding love
Or finding sorrow
Lifting my thoughts
To fall on paper
I live in a cruel world
But it isn’t so bad
I may not have love
I may not have somebody to hold
But my talents are mine
And mine alone
I will use them
I will take my own fate
The world can’t take me
The world won’t fool me
I am me
I am not you
Wandering the fields of perplexity
To forever remain, a mercenary
Angel’s wings, demon’s claws
Ebon pupils, snow white eyes
Silver samurai, grey ronin
I live for myself, but
Then…maybe for them
But am I true
To myself
Am I me?
Or a mirror for you?
Maybe I care…for nothing
Maybe…you care…
If you love me
Then…TELL ME!

12/16/03

H.S. Poetry Part 15 (Mimic, My Reality, Paper Flowers)

You can see some influence from Evanescence if you look closely


Mimic

Losing sight of myself
Reflecting you as my mirror
Can I never find my destiny?
Where do I belong?
Where should I go?
I can’t follow you anymore
But it’s so hard.
For I cannot even follow myself
An empty shell with a blank soul
Living with an uncertain life
Copying another’s actions.
My masks are many and colorful
Changing daily, yet my eyes seem pale
Feelings clouded, emotions disappearing
Do I laugh? Do I cry?
Should I live? Should I die?
Lost past, uncertain future.
But I seek to find myself
In the shadows behind the mask.
I reach out and grasp
Blindly searching for a purpose
Pulling off my façade
I reveal a new face
And the face is not one of yours
No, it is my own creation
It is my mask to use
I no longer mimic another
No longer taking away bliss
For I have found my own happiness.

6/18/03



My Reality

As I live in the world we know
I continue to build my own realm of peace
For this world of pain and suffering
Consumes the blissful ignorance we love

Our emotions are clouded and faded
By our doubts and fears we’ve hidden away.
My reality is a crumbling castle of hope
Its walls are built up and broken down from the inside

My small realm of calm, sweet refuge
Is tainted by the lumbering armies of failure
My reality is a fading dream of the night
Its power lost in the rising day.

Can I make my reality more than a dream?
Will it live in the world that it so despises?
I only wish that for a single day
We could live in my reality

Where no one feels pain
Where no one worries about the past.
Or fears for the future
We need only accept one another

And wish for a better world
If we trust in ourselves
We can change this twisted plane
But we cannot simply hope

We must act on our dreams
To make those ideals reality
But we must think before acting
For we could make a far worse world than before

If we do not realize that we can cause pain
The perfection we wish is truly a dream
But we can work to better our reality
To bring the outside to peace

6/18/03




Paper Flowers

Skulking through shrouded corridors
Longing for death’s lingering grasp
Holding a delicate petal within my palm
It withers away and fades
My paper flower crumbles into nothing
Inner soul wracked with pain
Knowing nothing of outside
Sitting in my quiet chamber
Holding my paper flower
Clasping it to my chest
A faded love
A forgotten memory
A lost destiny
I question my mind’s grasp on outside
Not knowing if I am accepted
Do they push you away
Or pull you down?
I cannot answer the riddles
Enigmas within my soul
I will ponder until the end
And discover its truth
As my paper flower withers and dies.

7/29/03

H.S. Poetry Part 14 (Why Do I Not Feel the Cold?, Bless Me Not and Hatepassion)

Why Do I Not Feel The Cold

Why do I not feel the cold?
The stinging wind
The biting air
The chilling snow
The frozen rain
All seem not to hurt me
My flame is flickering
My passions are dying
My anger has subsided
My sorrow has vanished
What do I feel?
I feel not the chill air
I feel not the evil ice
What do I feel?
What can I feel?
Will my passions ignite?
I know not
I don’t know how to feel
Why do I not feel the cold?

12/17/03




Bless Me Not

Bless me not
For I am a fool
I hate you
And yet I love you
Bless me not
I am a demon
I wish to kill
But I wish to help
I belong in hell
Bless me not
I don’t belong
You scorn or ridicule
My blissful ignorance
I know nothing
Of the outside world
I want to escape
Bless me not
I do…not…live
Nor do I die
I am a shade
A living corpse
A fallen knight
A death and a life
An angel and a demon
Bless me not.

12/16/03




Hatepassion

Despising torture
Lusting for pain
A single cut
Bleeds inside
Lying for me
Protecting you
The scrapes
The slashes
The wounds
They bleed
They hurt
They should make me sad
But I feel nothing
Until it’s too late
Too far to turn around
Too behind to rush ahead
A child of darkness
Blossoming roses of black pain
A rage, and anger, a hatred
A blinding fury of myself
Running in circles
Falling on my dreams
I want to help them
I want to love again
But the passion
But the hate
Clouding my thoughts
An undying love
A consuming disgust
I hate and hug you
You love and lose me
I’m sorry
I’ll try harder
You can help
Please tell me
That you truly care
I want to say it
But the passion
Is still a hate

Jared Cowan
3/14/04

Haikus Part 2 (Various Themes)

This is pretty much every other haiku I have. It was a short phase. I might get back into it, though. Basho is quite nice



A crimson petal
Plummets to the ground below
Crashes into snow

A malicious form
Slices through the soul’s deep shroud
Pierces into life

A single ray of hope
Shines through the shadow of death
Throwing back its cloak

Shrieks of dread resound
As hallucinations rise
Cowering in fear

Alone and confused
Yet on each side stands a friend
He is singled out

A demonic form
Creeps from behind shadows
And corrupts the light

A flaming bird falls
Crashing to the ground below
It rises anew

A cloak of the past
Shrouds all of the present’s light
Trapping the future

Confused and afraid
Of releasing inner thoughts
Sorrow never leaves

Blackest form of night
Shrouds all thoughts of future hope.
A lance pierces through

A lone form crouches
Preparing to strike the meek
He rears back, but stops.

Distant flames approach
Turning all in its path
To cinders of red

A form of heaven
And yet, is hell’s avatar
A forbidden bond

The earth starts to shake
Cracks appear on a mountain
Flame bursts from the top

Hugging her shoulders
A girl begins to shiver
Her heart is ice cold

As swift as the wind
A blade cuts through human flesh
His blood runs freely

Pressing against her
A man’s lips brush against hers
His passion rises

He slices, cuts, stabs
The blade is soaked in their blood
No remorse is shown

Winding wisps of air
Twirl through clouds of misty fog
The currents go far

Rustling leaves brush
Veins twisting against their will
Fingers of trees twitch



Haikus 2

Rushing leaves float by
A blade cuts through the noon air
They crash to the ground

Rising orb of night
Shining through a shroud of black
Destroyed by stray wisps

Two spirits converge here
One of shade and other light
A swirling symbol

Listless eyes look up
From focusing mind’s closed eye
Snapping lids flash bright

Puffs of cloud spinning
Ancient beings raise astral
Hands to strike the earth

Hidden emotions
Feelings that no one can know
Lost in the shadow

Tortured memories
Demonic angelic soul
Trapped in mortal shape

Glistening lights flash
Piercing my vision and mind
Simply reflection

Forged in spirit hearth
Water caresses its fangs
A divine tiger