Why Do I Not Feel The Cold
Why do I not feel the cold?
The stinging wind
The biting air
The chilling snow
The frozen rain
All seem not to hurt me
My flame is flickering
My passions are dying
My anger has subsided
My sorrow has vanished
What do I feel?
I feel not the chill air
I feel not the evil ice
What do I feel?
What can I feel?
Will my passions ignite?
I know not
I don’t know how to feel
Why do I not feel the cold?
12/17/03
Bless Me Not
Bless me not
For I am a fool
I hate you
And yet I love you
Bless me not
I am a demon
I wish to kill
But I wish to help
I belong in hell
Bless me not
I don’t belong
You scorn or ridicule
My blissful ignorance
I know nothing
Of the outside world
I want to escape
Bless me not
I do…not…live
Nor do I die
I am a shade
A living corpse
A fallen knight
A death and a life
An angel and a demon
Bless me not.
12/16/03
Hatepassion
Despising torture
Lusting for pain
A single cut
Bleeds inside
Lying for me
Protecting you
The scrapes
The slashes
The wounds
They bleed
They hurt
They should make me sad
But I feel nothing
Until it’s too late
Too far to turn around
Too behind to rush ahead
A child of darkness
Blossoming roses of black pain
A rage, and anger, a hatred
A blinding fury of myself
Running in circles
Falling on my dreams
I want to help them
I want to love again
But the passion
But the hate
Clouding my thoughts
An undying love
A consuming disgust
I hate and hug you
You love and lose me
I’m sorry
I’ll try harder
You can help
Please tell me
That you truly care
I want to say it
But the passion
Is still a hate
Jared Cowan
3/14/04
Showing posts with label college poetry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label college poetry. Show all posts
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
College Era Part 5 (Thanatos, Relativity, Primeval Harvest)
Thanatos
Why sacrifice yourself for them?
They deserve it and they need it.
Are they really worth all this pain?
Is pain such a permanent thing?
Think you so that martyrs are fools?
Only when merely for merit.
I could easily be a pariah?
If the cause you die for is just
Why become heaven’s prisoner?
Is heaven bondage or freedom?
Why punish for not conforming?
Conformity is a bad thing?
Jared Cowan
9/18/08
Relativity
The gate is narrow but the path is wide
You start to fall up and you rise back down.
Try to fit a goat through a needle’s eye;
In stubbornness, it gets a thorny crown.
A bridge without end, a sky without stars;
Do we have any idea where we are?
Listen intently for the tree that falls.
When I clap my hand, does anyone hear?
Awaiting universe’s conclusion;
in one becoming all, all becomes one.
Or will all simply be torn to pieces?
To ask these questions only creates more.
Jared Cowan
11/19/08
Primeval Harvest
Meeting at the bridge of sky, sun, and moon;
They plant their love’s garden, bringing forth blooms.
But first seeds tend to fail, tall though they loomed;
they flash into life, draw back into soil.
The next spring’s success, a vermillion burst;
It spurts out too fast, suffocates the roots.
The mother’s garden it is singed and razed,
the blaze spreading its roots through forest’s brush.
Father quells the hellfire, destroys the “weed”;
bereft of child, she deserts him and leaves,
her fury subsumed under sorrow’s mask.
In mother’s absence, father tends the seeds.
From mud of divorce, three sprouts have appeared
in the wake of their fertility scorned…
Jared Cowan
11/5/08
Why sacrifice yourself for them?
They deserve it and they need it.
Are they really worth all this pain?
Is pain such a permanent thing?
Think you so that martyrs are fools?
Only when merely for merit.
I could easily be a pariah?
If the cause you die for is just
Why become heaven’s prisoner?
Is heaven bondage or freedom?
Why punish for not conforming?
Conformity is a bad thing?
Jared Cowan
9/18/08
Relativity
The gate is narrow but the path is wide
You start to fall up and you rise back down.
Try to fit a goat through a needle’s eye;
In stubbornness, it gets a thorny crown.
A bridge without end, a sky without stars;
Do we have any idea where we are?
Listen intently for the tree that falls.
When I clap my hand, does anyone hear?
Awaiting universe’s conclusion;
in one becoming all, all becomes one.
Or will all simply be torn to pieces?
To ask these questions only creates more.
Jared Cowan
11/19/08
Primeval Harvest
Meeting at the bridge of sky, sun, and moon;
They plant their love’s garden, bringing forth blooms.
But first seeds tend to fail, tall though they loomed;
they flash into life, draw back into soil.
The next spring’s success, a vermillion burst;
It spurts out too fast, suffocates the roots.
The mother’s garden it is singed and razed,
the blaze spreading its roots through forest’s brush.
Father quells the hellfire, destroys the “weed”;
bereft of child, she deserts him and leaves,
her fury subsumed under sorrow’s mask.
In mother’s absence, father tends the seeds.
From mud of divorce, three sprouts have appeared
in the wake of their fertility scorned…
Jared Cowan
11/5/08
College Era Part 4 (Triskelion/Tomoe and Rejecting Eden)
Triskelion/Tomoe
Trinity primal: light, shadow and storm.
From chaos deep, as a whole they emerge;
Rising and falling, their substance and form.
The day star, it shines as the sky’s beacon;
Then it leaves for its tomb of rock, to rest
Trinity primal: sun, moon and storm
Creeping behind the day and night curtains,
neither female nor male, eternal secret
Rising and falling, no substance, no form.
Thundering crash, clouds gather; furious
justice proclaimed in a calming downpour.
Trinity ancient: light, shadow and storm
Messengers of time and tide, all ebbing
through waters, winds or roots of earth. But
what rises, what falls, their substance or form?
United and yet divided visions,
Falling apart and blending together.
Trinity primal: light, shadow and storm.
Rising and falling, their substance and form.
Jared Cowan
10/22/08
Rejecting Eden
Should I take upon myself
the coil of immortal bliss?
Or give my cold human flesh
a garb of temporal weight?
Offered the fruit of the gods;
between angel and demon.
Do you choose a slave’s comfort
or grasp for exiled freedom?
As the sheep under shepherd
perhaps life will be more fair.
But in lives of endless peace
the waste suddenly appears.
To wander as one hated;
As a seeker of knowledge.
Seeking out the world’s wisdom;
a shadowed strider in sin
Feeling eternal bondage
Are you chained by salvation
or set free in damnation?
Serve heaven or rule in hell?
The choice is ours to but make.
The choice is already made.
To sleep in arms numinous?
Lie awake with ignoble?
Jared Cowan
9/3/08
Trinity primal: light, shadow and storm.
From chaos deep, as a whole they emerge;
Rising and falling, their substance and form.
The day star, it shines as the sky’s beacon;
Then it leaves for its tomb of rock, to rest
Trinity primal: sun, moon and storm
Creeping behind the day and night curtains,
neither female nor male, eternal secret
Rising and falling, no substance, no form.
Thundering crash, clouds gather; furious
justice proclaimed in a calming downpour.
Trinity ancient: light, shadow and storm
Messengers of time and tide, all ebbing
through waters, winds or roots of earth. But
what rises, what falls, their substance or form?
United and yet divided visions,
Falling apart and blending together.
Trinity primal: light, shadow and storm.
Rising and falling, their substance and form.
Jared Cowan
10/22/08
Rejecting Eden
Should I take upon myself
the coil of immortal bliss?
Or give my cold human flesh
a garb of temporal weight?
Offered the fruit of the gods;
between angel and demon.
Do you choose a slave’s comfort
or grasp for exiled freedom?
As the sheep under shepherd
perhaps life will be more fair.
But in lives of endless peace
the waste suddenly appears.
To wander as one hated;
As a seeker of knowledge.
Seeking out the world’s wisdom;
a shadowed strider in sin
Feeling eternal bondage
Are you chained by salvation
or set free in damnation?
Serve heaven or rule in hell?
The choice is ours to but make.
The choice is already made.
To sleep in arms numinous?
Lie awake with ignoble?
Jared Cowan
9/3/08
Friday, April 2, 2010
College Era Part 2 (Ha Satan and Hentai)
Ha Satan
Wandering to and fro upon
the earth, seeking what may be found
A vagrant strider, returning
not to home, but to place of rest
Inquiry made, “Where have you been?”
Answering, recounting my past
Deeds, my travels, my observance
Of the ways of the earth, of ‘man’
A proud boast is made, “Look at him
the best of my loyal servants”
Pointing down, not to one of us
or to itself, great as they are
But to a lowly creation
Incarnated and praising it
“Perhaps he will abandon you
if you take back what is given”
They respond and accept with pride
They give me almost full rein to
test and accuse the servant’s faults
And my challenge begins with “death”
But the answers are those of a
true follower, the cult of the
Ineffable One, charisma
and power that it seems to have
And so the challenge was not so
Merely a demonstration of
how pathetically weak and sad
all their loyal servants can be
Jared Cowan
9/17/08
Hentai
Perverse, disgusting, ill minded
Ignoble, impious, the damned
Demonic, corrupted in morals
Following pleasures where they lead
Groping blindly to the unseen
Touching what should not be found
Secrets uncovered, made public
Releasing what is to be imprisoned
Why must you look where you shouldn’t?
Why can you not stay safe?
Secure in blissful ignorance
Fear and shun the curse of inquiry
Jared Cowan
9/10/08
Wandering to and fro upon
the earth, seeking what may be found
A vagrant strider, returning
not to home, but to place of rest
Inquiry made, “Where have you been?”
Answering, recounting my past
Deeds, my travels, my observance
Of the ways of the earth, of ‘man’
A proud boast is made, “Look at him
the best of my loyal servants”
Pointing down, not to one of us
or to itself, great as they are
But to a lowly creation
Incarnated and praising it
“Perhaps he will abandon you
if you take back what is given”
They respond and accept with pride
They give me almost full rein to
test and accuse the servant’s faults
And my challenge begins with “death”
But the answers are those of a
true follower, the cult of the
Ineffable One, charisma
and power that it seems to have
And so the challenge was not so
Merely a demonstration of
how pathetically weak and sad
all their loyal servants can be
Jared Cowan
9/17/08
Hentai
Perverse, disgusting, ill minded
Ignoble, impious, the damned
Demonic, corrupted in morals
Following pleasures where they lead
Groping blindly to the unseen
Touching what should not be found
Secrets uncovered, made public
Releasing what is to be imprisoned
Why must you look where you shouldn’t?
Why can you not stay safe?
Secure in blissful ignorance
Fear and shun the curse of inquiry
Jared Cowan
9/10/08
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